friend, what you seek is very unlikely to be able to be taught within the confines of a traditional institution pedagogy, if at all. Irwin in particular was v. famously (or notoriously, depending) cagey w/r/t/ teaching in programs for any expanse of time. I would recommend taking up studies in Zen buddhism, alone or with a mentor. Perhaps a degree in physics, philosophy or ecology might be advised, for those less austere or spooked by the austerity of the void.
