Coriolis E.

This has been helpful, and certainly reinforces my convictions. The only dilemma that is left for me to figure out is whether to break the news in a I meeting (that I set up), or send an e-mail first with the situation and my decision clearly outlined, so that he has time to react prior to the meeting. Just curious, does anyone have knowledge of etiquette or standard procedure for this type of notification?

Thanks folks. This is helpful. The offer to assist for a month or two for free is under the assumption that it takes more than the next month or two to find a new RA. I'll follow his lead, of course, but don't want him picking up 20 hrs/week of slack during the entire spring semester!

I'm probably late on this, but maybe someone will find this useful in the future. There's a lot of great advice that's already been laid out in other replies, but I will offer two things that some folks were starting to hint at. They made all the difference for me in times of anxiety and stress in grad school: 1.) (Pro)actively define, or re-define, your well-being so that your happiness, satisfaction, and comfort in life is only partially dependent on grad school. Academia teaches us to focus inwardly, all the time. Find activities and resources that allow for interaction and or engagement with people who are not fully engrossed by their research, or engage in a service that requires no overly-analytical thinking (e.g. volunteer, or tend a community garden plot). Having this multi-dimensional criterion for your well-being and persona means that when your external hard drive with all your backed up data gets eaten by the neighbor's pitbull, you don't fall as hard. The world does not end, and you still have your tomatoes. 2.) Know that it is perfectly okay to not know. It can be terrifying to be out of your comfort zone, and in a community of hyper-critical/analytical peers, especially when there is an unfamiliar topic or complex research problem at hand. Showing your vulnerability, and having self-awareness of your strengths and weaknesses and being honest about them is one of the most refreshing, yet rare things that a grad student can do. You'd be amazed at how the atmosphere changes in a class discussion or lab meeting when someone simply confesses that they are at a loss, or just don't know. Likewise, if something isn't working with your advising situation, just lay it out on the table, because it happens all the time, and students go through undue stress trying to tolerate situations with fairly easy fixes. Regarding the new environment, the original poster is likely reveling in their new adventure at this point, because that's what it is. The last time that I got worked up over my research trajectory I received a small card in the mail from a former professional development adviser, with just one hand-written line: "You'll always have the potential for stress; try to enjoy the ride". Hope you're enjoying yours!

I have a troubling situation that is probably not unique, and therefore I'm hoping this post becomes a discussion point that others find useful! I'll try to keep this short: I started a PhD program about 6 months ago with the intention of conducting some cool research, and leaving with credentials to continue pursuing independent research and projects, albeit only tangentially connected to academia (if at all). I've been funded as a research assistant (2 year duration) on a team project of which I'm a fairly integral part, even though I'm only in 1 semester. Pretty stable situation/trajectory. The problem: I just had an offer arrive in my e-mail inbox that I simply cannot turn down. This is a position in a place I want to live, with the creative discretion and opportunity to do cool research that I would want upon leaving with my PhD 4-5 years from now. The offer was unsolicited. Since I do not want to stay in academia, I would absolutely kick myself if I didn't take the opportunity, and would be miserable having to go through the PhD process for several years for minimal wage in a hyper-critical arena of scholars, and have my ideas altered to fit with what others are thinking and writing about (what the Ivory Tower refers to as "grounding" your work). Unfortunately, I have an intense fear of upsetting other people, especially people I respect. If I were to leave now, I would be punching a hole in the team project, or at least creating a hefty setback for them. For all practical purposes, I have no need for their approval or collaboration in the future, but I respect them nonetheless, and I hate to see my adviser struggle with finding a new PhD student on short notice. I also would hate to damage his reputation as he's had very few PhD students, and advising a successful PhD student is basically a deliverable for him as he is certainly set on climbing the tenure ladder and building a good rep. in academia. Simply put: To be true to myself and pursue something that is right for me, I need to bow out of the program. However, I am terrified by the prospect of creating huge setbacks for my adviser and the rest of the research team. Obviously I would offer to work as much as possible on the RA through the semester, and would even work for free for a month or two after terminating my RA if it makes life easier for him, but I just don't know the most graceful and professional way to exit the program. I should tell him sooner rather than later, but am also afraid that he'll be so upset that he won't let me continue helping beyond the semester, and the next few months will be incredibly uncomfortable for all involved. Any advice or insight from people in similar situations, or who have navigated a similar issue? Particularly instances in which lots of resources and expectations were invested in you?