J_Phil

Don't apologize, I hope someone can be helpful for you as well!

Precisely, the deadline is before the time in which I would hear from Fletcher about potential admission from the waitlist. I've decided to go ahead and accept American and, essentially, go all-in with them. If I end up receiving an offer from Fletcher, I will just have to go through the somewhat embarrassing process of withdrawing a school which I have already notified. I'm also doing this all for Spring admission, so it's all very awkward in comparison to regular fall admission.

Good morning all, I'd appreciate some advice. I've been waitlisted at my top school (Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy) and accepted to my second choice (American University School of International Service). I am currently working on submitting additional materials to Fletcher to try to be admitted from the waitlist, but in the meantime I will be accepting admission to American. Has anyone ever withdrawn from a school after accepting admission? What are the consequences of doing so, and what should I plan for? How would you recommend I approach this issue? I don't want to be dishonest, but I also don't want them to feel that they are "just a fallback" and that I'm ready to depart with a moment's notice from Fletcher? I'm happy to attend American, of course, I just have a stronger desire for the other school. I'm a little jittery right now, so excuse my odd stream-of-consciousness typing. Any advice would be appreciated. --J

Try: "the negative environmental impact of crude oil exploration is palpable and provided the bedrock of my passion for clean energy and a healthy environment I am motivated to work toward the improvement and proliferation of alternative energy sources which will have fewer negative impacts on the environment, and to research better ways to use fossil fuels while maintaining a sustainable environment for all." Next paragraph, your internship: you should name the company (you probably do in the unedited version). And: Did you make this discovery? Or is it some form of common knowledge (I don't know this field)? Also, write: "coagulants with more than 70% efficacy to drastically reduce..." Next paragraph: "Diverse academic backgrounds"... "The department's cooperative education..." Next paragraph: "Throughout my undergraduate studies..." "I will bring to the program and a great passion as someone who has witnessed..." (no comma) Good luck my friend

I'm in the same boat with Fletcher waitlist. As I understand it, we are considered admissible, but there were not enough spots. So, if other people refuse their offers of admission, those spots become available to those of us on the waitlist. Along the way, you can send additional info (varies by school) to, essentially, plead your case as to why you should be admitted from the waitlist over others. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

Best of luck to you, as well. With your GRE and background at American, you likely have a better shot at Fletcher than I do. I'm coming from a California State school and, before that, an online associates from when I was in the military. My GRE came out with (162/155/4.5) V/Q/A. Also, if you care to read my essays, I have them posted in another forum, and they can shed some light for you on my burning desire to attend Fletcher and my experience abroad. In my communication with American, I feel like they are probably going to accept me and, given that Fletcher is as competitive as it is, I've begun to look more in detail at D.C.. What can you tell me about the CRS (Middle East) program? Any professors in particular I should avoid, and conversely which are the best to take? I'm also trying to find the class schedule for Spring online, but am unable to find it. Can you link me to it, or is it only available to matriculated students?

Universities, I find, are always interested in non-academic skills. In my admissions interview I was asked about personal hobbies outside of academics, like sports or music. Your experience and versatility would make you a strong candidate, I think, for about any PhD program in comparative politics. You will need to emphasize clearly your motivation for pursuing this field, however. Is your thesis somewhat related to politics? Can you emphasize that? You may actually need to apply for Master's programs as well, specifically in the political realm. You'd do well to explain your activities during your four-year gap. Explain what you've been doing, and how it makes you a more well-rounded candidate for your program. Definitely emphasize the BENEFITS of having degrees in three different fields. Talk about evaluating events through multiple perspectives and such. Having no degree from the US should not be a problem. Just play up your positive side, and have a clear statement of purpose.

Hey there, thanks for the note on my post. If you want to see my essay for this prompt, it is "The Other End of the Barrel". I suggest writing something that ties you into international relations personally. The SoP is the essay in which you get to highlight your background and experiences which will make you successful. The anecdote, in my opinion, should describe why your personal experience drives you to our field. If you can, avoid anecdotes or stories that are irrelevant to international relations. I hope this helps, feel free to ask me anything further

Nuts to that. Here are the essays in text format. They are only 800 words and 500 words, respectively. Why Fletcher While I cannot claim to have served in combat in the Middle East, my personal experience as a United States Marine has compelled me to study both the region and conflict resolution. One of the most potent memories of my life is from my participation in a Remembrance Ceremony at Camp Pendleton in April of 2011. We, the musicians, sat to the side and softly played “Amazing Grace” while the Marines of 3rd Battalion, 5th Marines honored twenty-five of our own, killed-in-action. I watched as twenty-five families, sitting beneath the awning, were each in turn delivered a folded American flag to serve as a wanting replacement for their sacrificed son, brother, husband, father. The Marines themselves were in tears as they built the Battlefield Cross for their friends, a final gesture of farewell. The other musicians and I choked on our emotion. We performed the somber tones with raw throats and swimming eyes, an inadequate tribute to the fallen. In 2011, I barely understood why my brothers-in-arms were being killed or why their families faced such devastation. Since then, I have been driven to understand the Middle East and international conflict. If a full-scale war erupts again, I will serve in it as a Marine, doing all within my power to prevent more unnecessary deaths among Americans and foreign nationals alike. However, it is my most deeply held conviction that work in diplomacy and conflict resolution can prevent war in the first place. Whether that work is within the U.S. State Department, the United Nations, or a non-governmental organization, my objective remains the same: prevent needless loss of life through diplomatic engagement. I am pursuing the Fletcher School because I believe that the Master of Arts in Law and Diplomacy (MALD) is the best graduate program to help me become a successful diplomat. The structure of the MALD directly addresses my primary objective as I envision my two fields of study at the Fletcher School to be International Negotiation and Conflict Resolution and Southwest Asia and Islamic Civilization. The program’s wealth of opportunity for personal development, such as the Global Issues seminars and available certificates, are yet another strong reason for my application to Fletcher. In conjunction with the MALD program, I will also pursue the Certificate of Diplomatic Studies to broaden my knowledge of the conduct of diplomacy. I believe I will excel at Fletcher because of my academic background in my chosen areas of study. For example, the field of study International Negotiation and Conflict Resolution offers two elective courses for which I have significant background knowledge that I hope to deepen at Fletcher: Peace Operations and Negotiation and Mediation in the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict. In relation to Peace Operations, I conducted an extensive study of the United Nations Department of Peacekeeping Operations in preparation for the National Model United Nations conference in March 2015, in which I was awarded Outstanding Delegate in the Special Committee on Peacekeeping Operations. With regard to Negotiation and Mediation in the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict, my experience in a study abroad program in Amman, Jordan, where I took an intensive course on the Arab-Israeli conflict and its modern obstacles to peace, will be a strong asset, as it enabled me to visit Palestinian refugee camps and independently travel to Israel and several West Bank cities to witness the effects of the conflict first-hand. Regarding the field of study Southwest Asia and Islamic Civilization, I am intensely interested in understanding the continuing processes of democratization and conflict resolution in the region. The courses that I will take focus specifically on democratization in the Middle East and the impact of war on society. I will use my previous research experience, such as my analysis of the role of the Egyptian military in politics before and after the Arab Spring for my comparative politics class, as a foundation to study domestic political processes in more detail. I believe that, above all, an intimate understanding of the region is a necessity to become an effective diplomat. My career objective, my calling, is the same today as it was in April of 2011: to understand a region rife with conflict and to work to prevent more needless death and suffering. Twenty-five families beneath an awning deserve far more than a folded flag and haunting memories, they deserve their son, brother, husband, father. Millions of refugees forced out of their homes deserve more than tents and rationed meals. I intend to dedicate my life to preventing more families from enduring sorrows like these. I will work to resolve conflicts, defend human rights, and combat the lunacy of terrorism. I strongly believe that the professional network, education, and opportunities for growth provided by the Fletcher School will help me reach a position in which I can effectively achieve these goals. The Other End of the Barrel Understanding the Arab-Israeli conflict is a modern necessity, from the deeply rooted history of the region to modern war crimes. However, for those of us who hope to be diplomatically engaged in the region there can be no substitute for witnessing the struggle first-hand. This belief drove me to visit Palestine myself, to visit the towns and cities about which I had spent countless hours reading. I chose to stay in East Jerusalem to immerse myself in Arab life surrounded by Israeli settlements. I wanted to feel the conflict, not just read about its ugly consequences. Of the many Palestinian cities I visited, the most fascinating was Bethlehem, but not for its beautiful Church of the Nativity. Instead, I was captivated by the wall erected by the Israelis. The wall is a solid concrete, eight-meter tall goliath, imposing itself over everything in view; but it also acts as a canvas, a background to the most powerful artwork representing the Palestinian cause. For Israel, the wall exists to defend nearby settlements from suicide bombers. According to Palestinians, however, the wall is a deliberate, constant reminder of their occupation. I walked along the wall throughout Bethlehem, to touch it and read its graffiti. The entire experience was oddly surreal. The wall stood only a few blocks from the bustling tourist district and yet, here, the people were sparse, hushed, and hurried along with their heads down. Perhaps the strangest experience at the wall was when, looking at the guard tower, I noticed the barrel of an assault rifle pointing conspicuously in my direction. I anticipated the guards would be interested in me, but pointing a weapon at me seemed mildly insulting. The American-Israeli relationship is constantly lauded as strong and durable, and yet this soldier treated me like a threat. I recognized the rifle as an M4 carbine, which is the exact weapon I train with in the Marine Corps. The weapon is American-made. I never expected one would be aimed at me. Yet, at the wall in Palestine, I stood on the other end of its barrel. This encounter with the Israeli military was hardly the only one during my visit, but it left the strongest mark. In my short time at the wall, I witnessed the quintessential component of any military occupation: the threat of violence. I realized that this threat, the wall, and the loaded guns are a feature of daily life for Palestinians. I firmly believe that militaries are meant to protect people. My visit and my research, however, have led me to think that the purpose of the Israeli military has, at times, exceeded the goal of self-defense. Palestinian people are denied the basic freedoms of movement and self-determination. Palestinian children are born and raised under martial law. It is their ubiquitous despair that compels me to work toward a resolution of the conflict into which they were born, yet had no hand in creating.

For me, I graduate in Fall, 2015, and want to go straight on to my Master's. Also, I'd really like to have two summers to do external programs. I didn't know SIPA or SSP were accepting applications for Spring. I looked at Elliot but didn't like the available programs. What attracted you to apply for Spring? Also, if I can ask, what is your background? (I'll be honest, I just want to know who I am competing with; but also it would be nice to meet someone beforehand, assuming we are both admitted!).

Hey all, It's too late to get any edits or suggestions on this (though they are welcome, anything to improve my writing!), but I thought some of you may benefit from reading my final products. I submitted these for application for a Masters of Law and Diplomacy at Fletcher, so hopefully they will like them and send me an acceptance letter in the next few weeks. Fingers crossed! "Why Fletcher" is the Statement of Purpose "The Other End of the Barrel" is the Personal Anecdote 0 - The.Other.End.Of.The.Barrel.docx 0 - Why.Fletcher.docx

This sentence doesn't make a lot of sense. Your intro phrase "Getting my feet wet" doesn't tie into your final phrase "which have only cemented...". I suggest beginning with "In college, I took courses on Software Engineering, including Design....., both of which have cemented my decision to pursue this field." (This is not a condescending remark, I promise): any time you're using a word whose meaning you don't have a 100% certain understanding of, type "define XX" into Google and read it. This is important, because "amalgamation" does not fit into this context very well, I do not think. Secondly, I recommend shifting every word to ACTIVE VOICE. For example, the first sentence here could say: "My previous project work in college drives me to pursue this course of study [whatever it is, "my decision" sounds noncommittal]". Your second sentence I'd recommend something which ties into the previous sentence, and the program to which you are applying, like this: "I will succeed in this course because of my solid foundation in the basis of software engineering, my thorough understanding of theoretical models, and my experience in application and web-based development." -- note here, you always want a sentence to convey some active thought. "I will succeed" rather than "My years at college up until now". Be careful with syntax and generalization. First sentence "For the past five years" rather than "since". Also, ensure your tense usage is similar: Android applications "have been" rather than "are". Full sentence should be something like: "For the past five years, Android Applications have been the best option for software engineers, and I want to participate in this expansion of technological revolution" (or something, the last part was just kinda made up). Throughout this paragraph, you should ensure you have tense agreement and syntax agreement. Also, avoid colloquialism "grab a piece of this pie", especially if it might convey something negative about you, like you are pursuing this course of study because you want to get rich off of it -- I'm not saying this is the case, but you should be cautious. Also, your transition from Android mobile applications to Computer Security is a jolting transition in the writing. Try something like: "After attaining a firm grasp of Android mobile application development, I used this experience to begin developing applications to improve user Computer Security" or something like that. Saying "I wanted to move over to the next level and in college, within the arena of Computer Security" is excessively word-y, and it fails to convey anything AWESOME about this new computer security app you created. I'd recommend a new sentence where you go into more detail about what you achieved. I'm skipping a few paragraphs here. Much of my critique can be applied to those paragraphs as well. For this one, you should know that this is what the admissions committee wants to say. Why are you applying to THEIR program (and then support that why with all the things about your future goals and previous successes). Try making this something of an introductory paragraph, and then rehash it in abstract form in your conclusion. I hope you don't mind my thorough criticism, I do it because I want you to succeed. Feel free to message me another draft, if you like, and I will do my best to help you. If you send it as a microsoft word document, I can give you the best criticism that I can. Good luck!

Hi "AAAAAA", my name is John. I'm happy to critique for you (we are applying to similar programs). I'm applied, currently, to Fletcher and American SIS; where do you plan to apply? Send that SOP and I'll edit the heck out of it ASAP :)