Your demeanor aside....I agree with you!
I don't buy it that you need a PhD from the top 50 to teach, particularly if you want to teach at a small state school or small liberal arts school. I believe this to be especially true if the program you end up at has professors whose research interests are a good fit with your own. Also, BU, BC, Milwaukee, American, the New School, SUNY-Albany, and Brandeis don't make the US News World and Report top 50 list, but they are all great departments with good placement histories. I think as long as you work hard, get to as many conferences as possible, write a solid dissertation, and pump out a couple publications by the time you are on the market, you'll be fine.
Best and good luck!