[What is Berkeley's applied science program like?]

Very little seems to be out there about the program. I am unofficially accepted and it's my top option because I'd be working with an amazing advisor. I'm just curious if there's any info out there from people who actually know anything about the program.

[Writing about non-academic activities in statement of purpose]

Almost no one will care and it will just take unnecessary space (based on what professors have told me). A personal statement is a research statement, talk research (and teaching if you have experience) and nothing else.

[first attempt at personal statement]

You spend too much time talking about irrelevant things. Forget everything before high school. Forget your decision making process, they don't care. Do not use contractions, they are informal. No one cares about you wanting to relocate. Discuss your weakness briefly and gave them a positive aspect somehow and keep closer to the end. What have you done? What's your experience? Describe them in details. No one cares what you are like in the classroom for the most part

Discuss your achievements and career aspirations and the reason you're interested in finance. For research based programs, this is a research statement, not a personal statement. Since this is course based, you need to figure out something else to discuss, not too sure on that. Why you want to pursue that career in detail, maybe?