ToopysRevenge

Congrats! It's so hard to find teaching positions nowadays. To me, this definitely shows your brilliance!

They were all research positions, and I didn’t make it past the first interviews, but yeah. I guess intellectually I can recognize that as a good sign, but... part of emotional abuse is repeated gaslighting that makes it hard to believe the evidence of your own eyes. I find that I now need to rely on others (such as my brilliant and amazing nesting partner who I love deeply) because I have no trust in my own judgment.
Just a general recommendation, folks... never underestimate how damaging emotional abuse can be. I thought the tools that have seen me through depression and anxiety would allow me to handle this, and I was wrong. I stayed way longer than I should have because I loved the research, I was invested in the project, and I felt the research was societally important. I also thought I could protect more vulnerable people (such as the undergraduates). I was wrong on all counts.
Anyway, I don’t want to turn this thread into the support milara thread. I really do appreciate everyone’s thoughts. I also am interested in talking to anyone else who has suffered emotional abuse in academia, because if I ever do achieve some measure of success in academia, I hope to form some sort of advocacy/awareness organization to address the systemic ways in which academia allows this sort of thing to happen. We have a missing stair problem. So if you know anyone, and they are interested, feel free to message me.

Omgosh, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Can you report this person? Please know that nomatter what your result is, it's not a reflection on your intelligence, skill, and worth.