I know this might seem like an odd question to ask but lately, I've been feeling out of place in my program. The university itself is really great and I think I would've enjoyed it more as an undergrad because they do have first-class resources. I think the professors are amazing, resourceful, and provide the best feedback and criticism I've received.My concern is this: When I applied, I thought I was a really good match with several professors research interest wise within English. And they've been incredibly helpful but as I get nearer to my oral exam phase, I realize that nobody in this department does what I do and I think there are other universities that might be able to guide me along better. I don't want to have a discussion with my current professors because I think if I fail to get in somewhere without them knowing that it'll burn their trust and I've worked incredibly hard to build that. I have former professors who will write letters for me because I have discussed this with them and I also have it on good authority that my main POI might be retiring in the next two years which would be prior to my dissertation. My concern here is that this would make it harder for me to form my committee if I stay. If I apply elsewhere (and fail), I fear that the department will find out from the admissions committee at other schools. Would committees share applcants who apply to other schools if they know the professors? If I get in elsewhere, I do plan on having conversations with my current professors about my concerns. I really don't know what to do now.
