orinincandenza

I've also reached a breaking point. I find that watching The Wire is like the only thing that'll keep me adequately distracted. I'm still on season 1, so the entire series should last me through this whole wrenching process. I can't even read books right now, which is what I want to go to grad school for. But McNulty and crew; those guys keep me occupied.

This is all really useful information, thanks everybody. I'm in agreement with most of the points made here. I'm certainly not attached to any school solely because of its reputation. However, I am more into the idea of research than I am teaching (I mean that very generally; of course I expect teaching to be a big part of my eventual career), so a place like Loyola would be great for me I think -- somewhere big and with lots of resources and faculty I think would be great to work with, but not necessarily a big US News-ranked school. Also, something sort of backwards happened -- when I should have been doing all my research and learning the minutia of each program, I was actually just doing all the nuts-and-bolts app stuff. It was taking up all my free time. Of course now, in the past few months when my apps have long been processed, I'm learning even more about the programs to which I applied, and unfortunately learning that the ones I spent so much money and got rejected from right away (ahem, UChicago, UIC) are schools I probably wouldn't have been very happy at anyway. This is especially frustrating for me since this is my second time applying. You'd think I would have used last summer and fall to get a really complete picture of every single program I applied to, but really I was just re-testing and re-drafting SoPs and writing samples. But whatever. If I have to do it all again, I'll do it again, and better. The MA option seems good to me because as much as I want to get going on all this (I'm 24 and I feel way older; I get more anxious by the day about FINALLY STARTING GRAD SCHOOL), I also try to remind myself that I'm no hurry, really. This is my career, something I'm sure I'll be working toward constructing and perfecting my whole life, so if I take two years to get a good hold on exactly what it is I want to do, I'm fine with putting off the PhD for a tiny bit longer. Of course, funding is certainly an issue. But I'll worry that when the time comes. Again: thanks! You guys are really helpful. Now I'm going to leave work early, go to the gym, and drink a glass of wine and watch The Wire. And wait for the weekend, or an acceptance letter, or both.

It's taken me almost two years, but I think I've finally realized how badly I've messed up this whole process. I applied to ten schools this year - nine PhD programs - including two ivy schools and a bunch of top tens. This, it now seems like, was a huge mistake. I know it's still somewhat early and this probably sounds paranoid and pessimistic (but welcome to the grad cafe, right?), but I'm gearing up for across the board rejections and next year's apps already, and I'm planning on looking into a lot more MA programs. I don't have an MA and I'm wondering if those of you who've been accepted to PhD programs this year do. My professors seemed to think I should apply straight to the PhD programs, but based on stats I see here and my own (many) rejections, it just doesn't seem like a sound philosophy. Getting my MA at a school that I'm not super excited about -- and doing a really great job and working really hard to get into a good PhD program -- would be so nice I think. I've only applied to two MA programs, though, so I might have to wait another year [Kevin-from-Home-Alone scream] to do that. Thoughts? Advice? And since maybe I've never been explicit enough about this: thank you for all the advice and support I've found on here.

So I just completed my application to Northeastern's MA program. I have a couple quick questions: does anyone know how long I can expect to hear back from them, since I missed the priority deadline and they're now on rolling admissions until August? I'm hoping not too long. Second: I'm really afraid that they're going to think they're a back-up since my app is so late, that I don't really care if I get in or not. This is not true. I really actually do want to go there, I just didn't find out about their program until right after the priority of Feb 1. I guess this is a dumb question, but any ideas on how to convince them that I really really like them, other than in my SoP (which I did in there, I hope). Maybe like an ecard or something, just to brighten up their day. Ugh. This process still sucks.

Whoa. These new twists are almost too much. Potentially fake acceptance claims? Epic adcom mistakes? If I wasn't waiting so painfully to hear from them myself, I might find this genuinely entertaining. Comfect, a congratulations is in order, and also a reminder to not worry about it too much -- it's totally possible that whoever wrote that email got momentarily confused by all the hundreds of writing samples they've read. I feel like if you heard someone's voice on the other end of the line saying yes, you are in, then you've got nothing to worry about. To the rest of us, I submit Kells' plea for real talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdaAWFoWr2c, in the sincere and urgent hope that the Brandeis admissions folks will give us some of it asap.

I'm with you, mentalyoga. I now feel not all confident about my Brandeis (or other) prospects, because I've gotten three rejections and don't understand why. I mean, I understand why -- it's because there are other people out there who are more qualified and a better fit for these programs, but I wish it were possible for schools to indicate why you didn't make the cut. This year, I improved my writing sample, wrote a whole new SoP, and brought my GRE V scores up a hundred points. If I have to do all this all over again (for a third time; sick), it'd be tough to go through all of it without a more or less guaranteed spot in a program. I certainly don't mean to sound like I think I'm entitled to a spot, or that the process is unfair -- I just I wish I knew what I was doing wrong.

Ugh. I figured it was spammish stuff that I was automatically signed up for. I just wish they wouldn't do that sort of thing if they do plan on rejecting me. Not good for the nerves.

Yellow, I'll keep you updated. I had close to a fit on the way home from work today, only to find my mailbox was also empty.

So, two rejections yesterday. Not a very good weekend. And now I've got tons of tiny details to contend with: Brandeis rejections were sent out via postal service, and were postmarked Feb 4th, according to the results page. I'm out of state, so it's totally possible this notice could come today or tomorrow. But what throws me off is an email I got from them on the 5th, inviting me to a live chat session for prospective grads. Would they really send this if my rejection letter was in the mail? Boy I hope not. My question is: has anyone been accepted to Brandeis? Or applied and not been rejected? Or heard anything? I know I'm reading into every little thing here, but one of the schools I was rejected from this weekend was supposed to be my back-up. If Brandeis is a no as well, I think I might be out of the game.

Hang in there, riss. I got rejected from all but one school last year, an offer I didn't end up accepting, and this is my second time around. You'd think I would have learned from my mistakes, and while my app package was certainly stronger, I'm still worried about total rejection as well...I may have applied to too many reach schools. We'll make it though! Chin up, etc.

Thanks guys, that's all good stuff. I figure that once I'm accepted somewhere (positive thinking, positive thinking) I can actually relax and spend time casually honing speaking skills. I just want to feel comfortable when I get to school. And SP, I totally agree -- it is comforting to know how many smart, successful, articulate people have this problem. I just wish I wasn't one of them. :|

This thread is mainly a way for me to not start another "waiting is awful" thread, which believe me I'm inclined to do since I agree with everyone that it truly is like some terrible purgatory. But here's an attempt at distraction: When we're grad students, lit students, there's going to be a lot of required public speaking -- TAing classes of course, but also presenting papers, oral exams, etc. And then of course later, when we're not grad students and we're professors, it's a career sort of built on speaking. I wonder if anyone else has their concerns about this. During my undergrad, I would sometimes get so nervous during presentations that I couldn't speak. (Other times, though, I did fine. Not being able to figure out a pattern to this anxiety was the worst part). I'm sort of hoping that once I'm in and have all this stuff thrown at me, I'll be forced to just get over whatever weird mental block I developed that presents me from speaking in front of large groups. Sink or swim, fingers crossed. Any comments/commiserations/suggestions for how to never get nervous again?

Motherless Brooklyn, by Jonathan Lethem. Which is really good so far, and is resurrecting an old desire of mine: to be a detective. Maybe a plan B if I'm not accepted. Throughout the whole long process I've read Infinite Jest by Wallace and Mrs. Dalloway by Woolf, and I've been trying to stay up on my lit theory, to varying degrees of success.

Thanks e'rybody. It has been tough, but I feel noticeably better all the time, except for the rare craving. Nail-biting and TV-watching seem perfectly acceptable ways of coping; anybody else have suggestions for stress relief?

Is probably the Novemeber before you hear back from graduate schools. I'm not sure why I picked Nov 08, and I'm really not sure why it was the first successful attempt in 6 years of smoking and two of trying to quit. But I haven't had a cigarette in almost three months, and I'm checking and rechecking my (e)mail constantly, and sometimes, I just really want a tiny relapse. Anyone else tempted to resort to the worst habit during admission decision purgatory?

Congrats on UIUC! My undergrad alma mater. I wish I'd had a chance to take more English classes there; I switched to English after my sophomore year.

I hear that. Bummer, nine more for me. I really don't know if hanging on every last bit of news is doing me more good than harm. I feel sick.

Loft, here's my list: Brown Chicago UIC Loyola Northwestern Minnesota Vanderbilt BU WUSTL UPenn

Can someone please (re)assure me that the Quant portion of the GRE does not matter one bit for English applicants? I got a 720V/5.5AW, and a math score that's too embarrassingly low to even reveal on an anonymous web forum. Will it hurt me?

Minnesotan, now you've got me a little worried. My list: Brandeis Brown Boston University (BU) Chicago Minnesota Northwestern Illinois-Chicago (UIC) UPenn Vanderbilt Washington University in St. Louis (WUSTL) Would Vanderbilt and Brandeis fall into the mid-range category you're recommending, or are they as selective as schools like Minnesota and Northwestern? I'm almost beginning to regret applying to the ivy leagues, though maybe I'm just pessimistic. UIC is a back-up. If I get into any of the other nine schools listed here, I'll be happy. Meanwhile, waiting for admissions decisions is pretty grueling.

Thanks, Dow. That does help a lot. My SOP is finally becoming something that's almost not cringe-inducing, and I'm content with my writing sample. Initiating cram sequence now; here's hoping for some substantial cocktail knowledge.

Hey everybody. An apology up front if this question has been answered already, but what can I expect w/r/t the subject test? I've heard that it's pretty impossible to do well on if you haven't studied for longer than a few months, and I've been trying to cram for the past three or four weeks. I take it on Nov 8, and I'm pretty worried. This is my second time applying, after 4 rejections and 1 acceptance last year. This year I'm applying to 9 or 10 schools, which range from mildly to very competitive. I retook the general GRE and ended up with a 720 verbal score (way better than last year). I guess I feel like the subject test (along with a still under construction personal statement) is the last thing I have control over, and I'm wondering how much I can expect it to strengthen or hurt my chances, depending on how well I do. My other stats are this: a 3.56 overall and a 3.79 major GPA. Some honors and one big writing award. It's not the greatest record in the world, I realize, and so I'm extremely nervous that this will be another a big round of rejections, with all those app fees right down the drain. Even though it's my second time around, I still feel somewhat inadequately prepared. But anyway: the GRE Lit Subject test. Any advice?