I think you should forget about phd for now, now it is not very relevant for you. It is better to devote time and energy to finding an interesting activity for yourself and deal with all your problems. Someday you may want to get a phd, but then you will be ready for it and put enough effort because you want it.
I wish you success no matter in which direction, the main thing is that you were satisfied! Good luck!
I am very interested in which university you have chosen and what are you doing now? Do you already have any scientific achievements? I will be very grateful if you share the information with us.
An interesting interpretation of the American dream. I really like it! You wrote how you see yourself in 10 years.
But can you describe how you see yourself in 20-30 years? Thanks in advance!