One Big Union

Lots of passive voice. Take out things like "I wish", "I hope", " I believe I" as they demonstrate a timidity in your language. Schools don't want people who believe they can do better or hope they can do better, they want graduate students who already know they're fully capable, currently excel, and will continue. I think you can leave in the figure skating as long as you mention it as an achievement and not rely on it parable for your success in grad school.