SSHRC frustrations

@PhDOG,ESQ thank you so so much for your supportive comments and your insights. I hear you on the extreme undervaluing of teaching and service, I've experienced this in several academic contexts (like the time I wasn't even shortlisted for a tenure stream position created to replace the program director role I had been doing for seven years). I guess I thought (hoped?) with the increasing focus on social impacts this situation was changing and the system was attempting to respond to widespread identifications of brokenness. But yes it appears I leaned too heavily into that hope. This is a hard lesson and definitely a teachable moment (ha!) for those at earlier stages of trajectory. But it is a serious shame for the learning goals of higher education, and the broader notions of academia as a space of/for social action. I have spent the last two days almost regretting my decision to pursue my doctorate. For a more positive spin, I am now leaning into the desire, like so many others, to find a pivot that is outside of or at the very least arms length from academia. I really don't want to only focus on the negative, our project in community arts for social change was funded by the SSHRC Diversity program, which does seem to be a space that is attempting to make change "in the belly of the beast". Our host institution is OCADU which so far also seems to be something of an alternative academic space. That however probably worked against me for the postdoc funding. Appreciations again @PhDOG,ESQ for your caring and collegial response, I wish you happy success. Warmth and respect to all, and the very best on your journeys.

Congratulations to all who were funded and commiseration to those who were not. Does anyone know if there is any way to find out why overall ranking would be apparently very at odds with scores? My scores are all in the very good range, and seem competitive, but my ranking is in the toilet. What a terrible process. I am more mature then most at this stage (I am 48), and I am wondering if my meandering career, while always in academia, just doesn't fit the system. I have taught at the university level for over a decade including directing a masters program for seven years, ran a research unit for ten years many years ago, and have over ten publications, though only a couple are first authored and recent. Both of my references were very strong (I was sent the letters) from experts in my field. My postdoc research was to be on a community-engaged project that is funded through a 3-year SSHRC Diversity grant, which I was the lead on writing and arose from my dissertation research and postdoc planning. The budget for this Diversity grant will now have to be reworked to eek out research coordination funds that will come nowhere close to covering the time this will actually take, and which will take away from monies meant to go to community and youth researchers. Maybe that's the problem, they felt I should already be funded by that grant, but there is no room in those funds for an actual researcher salary, as paltry as the post-doc salary is. Sorry this is more a cartharsis and a rant, I am not trying to sing my praises I am sure those awarded are research superstars. Just trying to understand why I was ranked 54/64, though all more scores are 4.6 and above. I am thinking there must be a red flag in my application? In solidarity and my best wishes to you all, CL