quadcrossedfingers

Big ole i-feel-ya hug, friend. The anxiety is almost unbearable, and time is stupid and made up, but the phrase that has helped me along is you only need one. But waiting for it....ugh. I also missed all my top programs. But if it wasn't the right fit, it just wasn't. My mentor had really good advice when they were like you *know* you work has so much merit, that's not the factor, people at these programs want to take in folks they know they are well-suited to guide. The right one will see you. ❤️

I also got accepted to NYU for poetry!!! Future cohort buds?? We'll see though because I can't afford to go without funding. I really want to celebrate but I have this terrible feeling that I won't be able to go because I know at least two fellowships have already been offered. This is my only yes so far (2 waitlists at fully-funded including UMich) and I'm so worried that it'll be my only yes and I won't be able to afford to go! I wasn't going to apply there in the first place, it's the only not fully-funded program I applied to, but I got so excited after hanging out with some of the faculty and found out about the fellowships but I know they are so limited. And I mean living in NYC literally teenage daydream come true except for how on earth could I afford that lol. WHEW wowee I don't know what to think! The offer came via email (weird cause I know t others got phone calls from Deborah Landau) and it said to call them to ask questions to the admissions person as well as gave Deborah's email. So I called and left a message and emailed cause I really need to know about funding! I feel very doubtful that there is any available for me based on these little signs. So idkkkk. What do y'all think?? I am so desperate to have even one plan for what I'm doing next fall lol but just like the waitlist I feel like I can't get my hopes up or bank on it. I am 100% not going to take out loans. I'd sooner do a second round of applications next year.

Hello! I've been lurking but I'm popping in to celebrate - I got waitlisted at UMich for poetry!! It came after three straight rejections and I was feeling pretty much heartbroken (really had my hopes on UW Madison because I have family there 😕 ) but I'm feeling much better now and able to wait out my three pending apps without the abject dread and mounting panic that I won't get in anywhere, even if that is still true haha. I'm vibing soooo hard for a spot to open at UMich for me! They didn't put out a ranking but they said it was a short list. Ofc I'm proud to even be waitlisted there, but I wish I knew what to plan for. Trying not to get my hopes up but I can't help myself. Either way, hooray! ❤️