Hello, My name is Jyotirmay, an enthusiastic film student who has been dreaming of being admitted into an American film school for the last 15 years. I have fallen in love with film since my childhood, and this love became my obsession, which turned into a dream of becoming a filmmaker. This dream and hope changed my life forever, and I could never think of any other profession nor leave my dream behind. But chasing this dream has not been easy; it has cost me everything. It has been full of personal and financial challenges, but what’s kept me going is a deep, unwavering determination. Throughout this period, I faced significant mental health challenges, particularly due to emotional and psychological difficulties. At one point, I nearly started to lose my mental stability, and I often feel suffocated, experience pain on one side of my head, and struggle with stress, memory issues, and concentration. I can’t recall how many times during my early 20's I was physically tortured by my parents just because I wasn’t willing to give up on my dream of becoming a filmmaker. When my parents realized their mental pressure was going beyond limits, instead of letting me pursue my dream, they held me back with all their efforts. Behind my back, they took me to see a psychiatrist, something they kept secret from me. It was only when I understood what they were doing that everything began to change. The extreme depression and mental torture made me think multiple times about committing suicide, but my passion for filmmaking kept me moving forward.
After eight years of struggle, I finally received a small amount of support from my parents but it wasn’t even enough to cover the first semester's tuition in the U.S. I got accepted into a film school in the UK, but after calculating the costs, I realized that after paying the first year’s tuition, I wouldn’t have enough money left to survive even for one month. So, I didn’t proceed with the visa application. Later, I applied to a film college in Canada, but due to certain constraints, I couldn’t obtain the visa. Eventually, I moved to the Netherlands the only place I could afford, where the first year’s tuition was within my budget. I completed my bachelor’s degree at an art academy. I studied a theory-based film program with zero film production courses. The course was very poor and they taught simply nothing, but I had to complete it because it was a necessary step toward pursuing an MFA, and I had already lost so many years of my life. To support my living and tuition, I worked long hours delivering food by bike, often in harsh weather, while commuting five hours by train daily. Even during COVID, when the whole world was at home, I was on the streets of Amsterdam with a few other delivery riders, supporting myself and keeping my university registration intact by paying the tuition on time. These hardships taught me resilience and the value of perseverance. Later, I had to move to Portugal because the majority of local production companies in the Netherlands are not authorized to offer sponsorships, and the few that are mostly weren’t interested in hiring international people with sponsorship needs. I remember interviewing with an Amsterdam-based company the interview went well, but once they learned I needed future sponsorship, their attitude changed. They formally told me I would proceed to the final interview the following week, but instead of receiving a call, I got a rejection letter. The irony is that a few months later, they reposted the job opening for the same position but that time they explicitly mentioned that they wouldn’t provide sponsorship, asking only candidates with EU nationality to apply. It’s been many long years of struggle, and I am tired and exhausted, but I still can’t give up on my dream of studying at a film school in the U.S.
I have been searching for any possible support to help me pursue my MFA for the past year, but I haven’t been able to find anyone yet. If you happen to know of any private or individual donors or any place where I might be able to get support for someone in the arts, I would truly appreciate any leads or connections. This is a dream I have been working toward for over 15 years, and I am just looking for a chance to take that final step. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I still believe this dream is worth fighting for and with your help, I might finally reach it.
Best Regards
Jyotirmay
