Kbee528

Hey all, I have really been in my head recently and I feel like I need to just let it all out. So, during my junior year of undergrad I realized that I really enjoy doing research and I want to continue it. Initially going into grad school my goals are to define my interests in psych, gain more professional research experience, and overall make me a more well rounded candidate for a PhD program. Honestly, I am not 100% sure what my career goals are after that. Very broadly I would like to do research professionally but I don't know what kind of environment I want to work for. My school for undergrad was very small and I really only got experience with one subfield. However, my research interests were defined in this topic and I had a strong interest for what I wanted to do with it. However, I don't know much else outside of this. My professor suggested I start with an MA in general psych, go to a bigger school, and get more experience. Well, this is what I did I took a year off from undergrad and really got some preliminary things done before starting school. I had a chance to experience living on my own for a little and accomplished some personal goals. I worked on my applications and got myself in a good place where I felt confident applying to the schools I wanted to. I was really stuck between two. One school had a program that almost perfectly aligned with my interests from undergrad. I met with the professor who would be my advisor and they guaranteed admission for me. I toured the school and everything. For some reason I cannot explain I just did not feel anything toward the school. When my initial adrenaline of holy shit I got in wore off, I was kind of left with nothing. Even though it was such a clear path from where I was the program did not excite me, the professor did not excite me, and the general area did not excite me. Moving on to my other school, and I felt so different. For the school I chose the program is vastly different from what I did in undergrad. Luckily with psych I understand a lot of topics can cross over into different fields, and actually if I can synthesize my topic over I actually think that could define it quite strongly. However, I knew if I chose this school I would have to be ok with trying something different. Maybe deep down I wanted something different and that is why the program excited me more. I love the faculty a lot and the general area of the school is a huge city which has been a childhood dream of mine to finally live in. Now, moving on to my advisor I feel like I also have made some naive decisions. This is the only school that I had multiple people reach out to me and again I was between two. One was someone with a big lab that actually had interests that translated very well to my topic from undergrad. I presented an idea I had and it would have translated over well. But again, for whatever reason I wasn't overly excited working for this person. The second interview I had I did not expect to go well because this persons interests were sooo different from mine, but it went exceptional! They loved my study from undergrad and were overall really passionate about wanting to work with me. We talked for a long time and they really made me feel it was ok that I was still defining my research interests. They mention how on paper they are a completely different psychologist from what they do now. They really appreciated how open I was and also really did like the same idea I proposed. I would also get more one on one focus with them than I would other professors. This person left a lasting impression on me. I felt motivated and excited to work with them. However, now that some time has gone by I am really just being filled with doubt. I'm realizing that the decisions I made are risky both the school and advisor I chose are both vastly different from my initial interests. In some ways I am still doing what I have asked for: to get more experience! But, in some ways I am frustrated that I feel like my story sounds messy rather than concise. Every professional I have talked to says I am in a very good position and I should be happy! But I don't know part of me wishes I went with some more logical options. I am really nervous to meet everyone in my cohort. I really do not want to sound so naive but my answers to a lot of questions are "it's still being defined." I know people there are going to have very specific reasons for being there and I feel a little silly that mine are still so broad. There is also faculty there whose interests more closely align with mine than the advisor I chose. I feel like that could also look silly. I have given myself a lot of cognitive dissonance and I'm just so scared that I have already made mistakes.

Hey all, I have really been in my head recently and I feel like I need to just let it all out. So, during my junior year of undergrad I realized that I really enjoy doing research and I want to continue it. Initially going into grad school my goals are to define my interests in psych, gain more professional research experience, and overall make me a more well rounded candidate for a PhD program. Honestly, I am not 100% sure what my career goals are after that. Very broadly I would like to do research professionally but I don't know what kind of environment I want to work for. My school for undergrad was very small and I really only got experience with one subfield. However, my research interests were defined in this topic and I had a strong interest for what I wanted to do with it. However, I don't know much else outside of this. My professor suggested I start with an MA in general psych, go to a bigger school, and get more experience. Well, this is what I did I took a year off from undergrad and really got some preliminary things done before starting school. I had a chance to experience living on my own for a little and accomplished some personal goals. I worked on my applications and got myself in a good place where I felt confident applying to the schools I wanted to. I was really stuck between two. One school had a program that almost perfectly aligned with my interests from undergrad. I met with the professor who would be my advisor and they guaranteed admission for me. I toured the school and everything. For some reason I cannot explain I just did not feel anything toward the school. When my initial adrenaline of holy shit I got in wore off, I was kind of left with nothing. Even though it was such a clear path from where I was the program did not excite me, the professor did not excite me, and the general area did not excite me. Moving on to my other school, and I felt so different. For the school I chose the program is vastly different from what I did in undergrad. Luckily with psych I understand a lot of topics can cross over into different fields, and actually if I can synthesize my topic over I actually think that could define it quite strongly. However, I knew if I chose this school I would have to be ok with trying something different. Maybe deep down I wanted something different and that is why the program excited me more. I love the faculty a lot and the general area of the school is a huge city which has been a childhood dream of mine to finally live in. Now, moving on to my advisor I feel like I also have made some naive decisions. This is the only school that I had multiple people reach out to me and again I was between two. One was someone with a big lab that actually had interests that translated very well to my topic from undergrad. I presented an idea I had and it would have translated over well. But again, for whatever reason I wasn't overly excited working for this person. The second interview I had I did not expect to go well because this persons interests were sooo different from mine, but it went exceptional! They loved my study from undergrad and were overall really passionate about wanting to work with me. We talked for a long time and they really made me feel it was ok that I was still defining my research interests. They mention how on paper they are a completely different psychologist from what they do now. They really appreciated how open I was and also really did like the same idea I proposed. I would also get more one on one focus with them than I would other professors. This person left a lasting impression on me. I felt motivated and excited to work with them. However, now that some time has gone by I am really just being filled with doubt. I'm realizing that the decisions I made are risky both the school and advisor I chose are both vastly different from my initial interests. In some ways I am still doing what I have asked for: to get more experience! But, in some ways I am frustrated that I feel like my story sounds messy rather than concise. Every professional I have talked to says I am in a very good position and I should be happy! But I don't know part of me wishes I went with some more logical options. I am really nervous to meet everyone in my cohort. I really do not want to sound so naive but my answers to a lot of questions are "it's still being defined." I know people there are going to have very specific reasons for being there and I feel a little silly that mine are still so broad. There is also faculty there whose interests more closely align with mine than the advisor I chose. I feel like that could also look silly. I have given myself a lot of cognitive dissonance and I'm just so scared that I have already made mistakes.