[Maybe I am just whining... But I want to quit already...]

Thanks!  This is really helpful.  Especially the part says picking advisors are like 'relationships'.  I feel bad about liking someone's work but not able to communicate with them.  But I think you are right, it has to go both ways.  And it's better for me to realize it now than later... 

I agree with a lot of what has already been said. Especially 1) people with weird social behaviours exist in all fields of employment (from fuzzy) and 2) not all corporations are evil and all of academia is good/moral (from St Andrews Lynx)!

 

I don't know what your department is actually like. It does sound like there are a few people that you have not had good encounters with. Every department, if it's large enough, will have at least one or two people like this. It sounds like this person is not your advisor, and I think that's a good thing for you! I'd see it as a positive that you found out that you and this person don't seem to get along very well--avoid working with them! Find someone else who can be a better advisor for you. Every person has different working styles so what works for some might not work for others.

 

Also, I'd say it might be useful to think about this from the other point of view too. Maybe, the prof also thinks your style doesn't mesh well with theirs. I'm not exactly certain, but it almost sounds like you expected to be able to just pick and choose who you want to work with. Matching up advisors and students goes both ways. Don't be discouraged if you find that the person you really want to work with does not feel the same way about you! Like any other relationship, both parties have to get along well for it to work

[Maybe I am just whining... But I want to quit already...]

I do agree that other than i-banking, otherwise industries could be evil too.  My current PhD major was quite pure though, I doubt it could do harm to people.

 

I've dealt with much more arrogant and impatient people in my previous jobs, I've worked a couple years like I said.  But this is different, I was not unprepared, he doesn't even want to know what I came for and talked about irrelevant topics...  Sometimes I think my work experience actually sets me back in tolerating such people.  For me, at least you need a reason to be blunt.

 

...And multinational pharmaceutical & petroleum companies aren't pure evil?! There was a big scandal recently with GSK in China, who were bribing doctors to prescribe their medicines. Meanwhile big chemical companies are spilling their waste into American rivers and oil production often promotes hideous wealth disparity and corruption in developing countries.

 

Not all companies do bad things...but if you are doing science purely because of morals, I think you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

 

Regarding the professors. Most of them are fairly blunt individuals. They are busy people who have a lot of meetings to attend, courses to prep and their own students to deal with. As a result, if they think you are unprepared or taking too long to get to your point, they will probably become impatient and express said impatience somehow. To be successful in grad school you have to come up with strategies to communicate with these individuals: you need to brief yourself beforehand, say what you want to say politely and concisely, and respect their social cues (do they look like they are in a rush to be off somewhere?). As Fuzzy said, that's how you deal with people in "work" and academia. It takes time to learn how to do that - but by watching others and being willing, a few false starts with some professors shouldn't mean that you will be forever unable to communicate with any of them.

[Maybe I am just whining... But I want to quit already...]

Last year I was just anxious waiting for my application results.  Now I finally got into the dream program I always wanted to join.  I was really happy at first.  I've worked in i-banking for years, always feel it's against my guts and pure evil, and going back to school and do science was noble and interlectually satisfying.

 

There are ups and downs in grad school, intense coursework and teaching, but I can bear with that.  The last straw that really got me thinking was when I talked to a professor whose work I am really interested, and was potentially thinking about working with him in the future.  We talked twice, both times he accused me of not prepared at all and poorly communicated with him.  Every time I try to say something, he just shuts me up and continue talking.  I went to see him to talking about some rec letters for outside seminar, but he ignores my request and talks about something else.

 

And he's not alone.  I've only been here less than a year, already seen a bunch of 'weird' professors that I just can't communicate with.  I start to feel that academia is full of people like that.  Especially people that do great work, but crush you completely every time they speak with you.

 

Now I am panicked coz I already decided I don't like working, thot it's beneath me.  But then, I am not adaptable for grad school either.  Where do I put myself then...

 

I am worried that I would find out grad school is not for me until a couple years later, so maybe I should stop and go back to do shxtty work.  Dreams are just too luxurious.  But then, a year ago, I tried so hard to get in... 

 

[What's wrong with NYU...]

I sent an email to them at the beginning of March asking about the decision on my application, they said they plan to have a result in Mid March.

 

After mid March, I haven't got a result and sent them an email again, being told they are expecting a result by end of March.

 

On April 1st, I became really impatient and sent an email again, basically saying 'now what...'  They say, don't worry, we would have an answer by April 15th...

 

Anybody else frustrated with them??  They are no.1 in applied math, I am sure many people put other offers on hold because of them.  I don't know what to say, but just really mad they delayed all my planned schedules...   And even knowing my chance to get in is close enough to non-existent, I admit I can't resist the temptation to keep waiting...

 

Damn it!

[Funding issues of UW-Madison?]

So I got the offer from Madison math PhD program, which is really great.  I really want to go but I've been seeing some negative comments on the budge cuts and the faculties leaving the department, which I believe was also due to funding problems.  As far as I am concerned, faculties are a big factor of the quality of the program.  So just wonder if anyone might know about their current situation? 

 

I wonder if that's a common issue in schools now.  Two of my friends were canned from their PhD programs previously (from other school, also math(ish) program) due to funding issues.  Got me a little panic here.

 

Any thots on this guys?  Please help.

[does anyone feel like they are putting their lives on hold?]

Me too.

I've been insanely waiting like there is no tomorrow.

At weekends, I don't go out, just sitting home reading forum topics.

I want to change job, but I just can't start looking...

Altho I made up my mind to start job hunting next week...Coz I am on a wl and I think ppl got offer from the school won't respond so quickly, and I can't wait until April.

[I have full funding- but no admissions yet.]

I wrote one of the schools I really want to attend, saying that I wouldn't mind not getting funding for the first year'.  I guess it really depends on how your phrase this.  You can make it sound like you really love the program, and try to say 'would it help increase my chance if I can afford the tuition myself'?  Just my opinion...

[What time of day do acceptance/rejection emails come?]

Two of my rejections were in the morning.

Sorry to hear that...  But you still have a couple school let.  Wish you the best!

[What time of day do acceptance/rejection emails come?]

I got my wl Friday at 8 p.m.  My theory is, if it's bad news, they don't want to do it in the morning, coz they might get annoying calls after sent out the results...  While if they send out in the afternoon, the candidates will be more rationale the next day.

[Vanderbilt: "Short short list"]

About a week and a half ago, after receiving a rejection from Chicago (Which was my top pick), I decided to email the remaining schools I applied to (Berkeley, Michigan, and Vanderbilt), asking when I may hear an offer (Or rejection)

 

A few days ago, someone from Vanderbilt replied with the following email: "A decision about your application has not yet been made, but you are the short short list at this time."

 

To me, this says I'm at the top (If not the very top) of the waitlist... Is that what you'd interpret it as? Because without an official word on anything, I'm not really sure what to think.

 

Oh, and in case you're curious: this is for a Pure Math Ph.D.

I think so...  It's a waitlist... 

[Got my 3rd rejection...]

I understand that this process is just wearing. This is the second time I apply and  the second time I get rejected by the schools that did interview me. The first time I got an abysmal GRE and anyhow I was interviewed via skype for NYU, but I wasn't accepted. This time I prepared myself for six months, I got new and much better GRE scores, new essays, a better resumé, and I was invited to Princeton. And anyhow I managed to screw it up at the interview... again. I am still waiting for the other universities, but I am really discouraged. I work as an editor, applications consumed my whole life and all my free time to write, which is my other calling, besides academy, and I am not getting any younger. So I get you. But at the same time I know for sure that even the grief is just not worth it. Move on. This time I am much more down to earth. I already started the application for an MA in a school that is very convenient for me and not as competitive. Just in case. Maybe this the long, necessary way. 

Thanks!  I guess we share the same feelings.  I work at a bank, the stress is kiling me.  Everyday I go to work, wishing my phone to ring with good news, so I can say goodbye to those suckers...  Feel really depressed lately. 

 

But on the other hand, I knew it's probably just me.  I should probably re-focus and let it go...

 

Wish you the best!

[Got my 3rd rejection...]

Oh my god, I can't believe I got so many replies...

You guys are so kind, so supportive!

I recently got a waitlist from my dream school...  To me it's kind of a torture actually.  I used to be waitlisted, from another school, really good one.  But eventually I got rejected, and I found this out in mid April...  I asked them the reason, they told me it was my Toefl (actually my Oral English isn't that bad at all, I've been working in US for 3 years).  Then I retook it, and reapplied, only to be re-rejected this year (not even waitlisted this time).

Anyways, I got a lot of positive energy from you guys.  Can't say how much I appreciate this... 

I will update again once I got all results!  Thanks guys!

[got kicked out from lab]

So sorry to hear this...  THis happened to two of my friends too...  Both of them are international, so they have to go back where they from.

Hope you can find someone soon.  But life is not just one way, maybe you will find something suit you better.

 

I just talked with my director of graduate studies. I have time to find a new adviser till the end of this semester. However, people in my department usually join labs in december of each year. So most of the spots that are open in a lab during a year are mostly taken. That is why I am extremely stressed out. The research that my advisor did was pretty different and there is no lab that does stuff similar to what he does. So I will have to start from scratch. My life is so fucked up right now. Is switching in the 2nd year to a different lab a really bad idea? I think it will add two more years to my PhD which really suck and at this point I don't know if it is even worth trying to find another adviser. so so so stressed

[How to interprete this?]

I find it hard to stay neutral or as you say 'relaxed' about the result.  Simply care too much to let it go...

 

Hope everything comes out soon so that I can continue my life!!!

 

I've never been a fan of forced pessimism. The whole "oh, well that way I'm always right or pleasantly surprised" seems like a terrible way to live life.

 

I'd say just to relax as much as possible and stop trying to over-analyze every little detail/sign, and that the answer will soon come.

[How to interprete this?]

I don't have that much experience with Grad Admissions, but it sounds like you're reading too much into nothing.

 

If anything, it sounds like the secretary accidentaly wrote Fellowship instead of Admissions. Around this time every professor in the department is calling to ask about fellowship availability (so that they can hire grad students). She probably just had it in her head a lot.

 

yea, you are right.  Plus it's easier to not hope too much.  Coz even waitlisted, the chance is so small...

[How to interprete this?]

So I got anxious waiting, and sent an email to one of the school, saying I saw some ppl already got offer from them, and wonder whether they reached a decision for me as well.

 

The admin told me my app is received and complete.  "All the Fellowship Comittee's decisions are expected to be made by end of Month".

 

I happen to notice she said 'fellowship comittee' rather than 'admission comittee'...  does that mean I am hopeful in this school?? At least waitlisted??  Or I am just too desperate and try to find anything out of this...

 

 

[Anyone hear back from caltech math program?]

A friend of a friend of mine just got their acceptance to the math Ph.D. program at Caltech.  I have yet to hear anything as far as my own application is concerned. 

Wow, that's awesome.  Is it recently?  And do you know how they notify people the results?

[Anyone hear back from caltech math program?]

I wrote email to check the status, but no replies.... Anyone applied there?

[Got my 3rd rejection...]

professional Graduate education advising service, is there such thing?  I've never heard of that...

 

It looks like you need to critically assess your application profile and rectify the drawbacks.

 

You may need the help of a professional Graduate education advising service to refine your application profile.

 

If you have more applications waiting, that means you still have a chance, so you don't have to lose hope. Otherwise you can get your application assessed by a counselor or by a Professor you may know and trust. 

[Got my 3rd rejection...]

just got my first grad school rejection letter, from my dream school to boot, and i'm feeling fairly incompetent and worthless. how do you cope with rejection? 

I don't know... I am pretty bad with it.  Drinking and crying, lol...

[Got my 3rd rejection...]

So I just got my 3rd rejection this morning.  I could have waited, but the waiting is kiling me (I am sure everyone on this board understands), so I send an email to ask, and got the "sorry" email this morning...  My fault... or is it?

 

I am 3rd time applicant, everyone around told me I have good chances.  Now think about it, maybe they just love me and can't be rational about my application. 

 

I am just so lost, devasted, and don't know what to believe in.  I've got a job, not good not bad.  Life could be just like that, like forever.  But I just can't bear the idea of not doing a PhD.  I really don't know what I need to do to make things right...  None of my friends will understand such feelings maybe...

 

This is my last chance.  If I fail again, I might find another job, doodling for a couple years.  Then maybe I will want to apply again, maybe not.  Maybe I'd have kids, maybe I grow old and forget what I was passionate about before.

 

We all have dreams.  For me, it might just be the wrong one.