phd_student5678

Scheduling a meeting for which I've promised deliverables. I used to try to avoid scheduling meetings with people. Now I do it all the time to keep productive.

I've encountered this latter type before too. These people are particularly bad because they resent you for becoming competent and see you, in a sense, as an object, not as a scientist. There's sometimes even an ownership mentality. I've learned the hard way that, from the get-go you must never look like a "puppy scientist". Don't act in awe of anything, but still be mildly appreciative. If you never quite let them seal the deal emotionally or egotistically, they won't feel entitled to act this way. It's the ego part that will kill you. Thanks for the tips and for sharing your stories. They really help me to sort out my own thoughts.

Most gossip involved women in the group, but men gossip, too. Thanks for your comments - they are very helpful and much appreciated.

Did you ever experience what I did? And if so, was this the solution?

I'm a second-year PhD student. I could use some advice on how to survive the politics of PhD programs. Does anyone have good tips for me? I would consider myself a kind, considerate and hard-working human being. I'm well spoken and I have a dynamic personality. Due to this, I think people peg me as a threat immediately. This poses a problem because I feel that people will make it a point to try to outdo me when we work on group projects. There is usually a dominant person in the group that will do whatever he/she can to try to undercut my ideas or my input. I've also endured gossip and people teaming up against me. I'm not quite sure if other people experience this as well. I should add that I am a sensitive person and do not take it well when the guys throw punches at me (not literally) during meetings and expect everything to be fine afterwards. My expectation is that all team members should be collaborative and we should share credit (not fight for credit in front of the professors), but I have yet to experience this to be the case. It seems people will do anything to come out on top. Are these group dynamics normal in highly competitive PhD programs? Group projects have become a very large source of stress. Can anyone offer tips on how to survive group projects amicably and successfully? As a female in computer science, I notice that there are a lot of old school mentalities. I feel we women are supposed to fight like men and smile like women. It gets excruciatingly lonely because the men in this program are so technical that they tend to lack social skills. Also, I've seen the boys bond together and guys bonding with me only for fun or for socialization, but not so much for real work. I do admit that I am a bit of a softie, but my work is good. Can anyone help me to navigate the waters? Advice is surely welcomed.