I used to be just like you but I recently bought a book called "Taming your Public Speaking Monkeys". It's a really great book that really made sense to me and helped me to understand why I was feeling the way that I do and how to change it. The author makes you think about the voices in the head telling you negative things and encourages you to think of them as monkeys.Then you can communicate with and tame your monkeys so that they no longer control you. For me it really helped as I think, like you, deep down I was able to do this, but something in my head was stopping me. Once I got past my fears I became a different person and no longer suffer the fear that I did previously, I'm forcing myself to get lots of practice and each time I do it I can feel myself getting better and more confident. The book is available here: http://www.deeclayton.com/page/overcome-your-fear-public-speaking-self-help-book
