Just because I am happy to have found this thread, and other people in similar (though often more prepared) situations as me, I thought I would share this.
We are going to have a lot more bad days in the coming months: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/13-simple-steps-to-get-you-through-a-rough-day
I enjoyed Eagleton's Literary Theory: An Introduction, but only as a companion guide to the writings of the original theorist, (or a student.) I agree he is more than a bit pretentious, but some of his charm comes from the unending string of jibes against anything non-Marxist.