Pressure to Decide Before Visit

[mikazukipie]

Praise the FSM, I have been blessed with two funded offers to Ph.D programs. I'm still waiting to hear from three other schools. School A gave me a four-year scholarship and one year of teaching, including a year abroad if I want. School B's offer is the standard teaching funding plus a one time moving stipend.

I'm trying to arrange visits with both schools, and since there's a week of Spring Break in March, I'm planning to visit School A in early March and School B at the end of March (I heard from School A first, and School B originally offered me acceptance without funding and upgraded me later). I recently got an email from School B saying that visiting at the end of March puts them in "a difficult position" if I were to turn them down.

I don't really know what to say. I want to visit anywhere I'm accepted if possible, so I don't want to cancel the visit, obviously, but I feel bad that waiting means someone else might not get funding in time to make the best decision. What should I do???

And, hey, it's really poor planning when schools don't notify till late, have a week of break, and then make you decide by 4/15! When are you supposed to visit!?!? Some of us work for a living! How did you guys manage it?

P.S. If you'd like to know the two schools and maybe on the off chance can help me make my decision, PM me!

Edited February 26, 2010 by MoMur

[res2135]

Personally I think that it's okay to be selfish in this case- you want to make the best decision for YOU, not for them. That being said, if you can visit them earlier, it seems that would be best. Maybe visit school B before school A?

[mikazukipie]

Personally I think that it's okay to be selfish in this case- you want to make the best decision for YOU, not for them. That being said, if you can visit them earlier, it seems that would be best. Maybe visit school B before school A?

Unfortunately, I didn't hear from School B until I'd already planned and paid for tickets for the visit to school A. I guess I'll just suck it up and say nothing.

[lovethequestions]

First, congratulations! Second, there's a reason the schools have all entered a binding agreement not to require you to make a decision before April 15. It's true that it sucks for them and for the unlucky person at the top of the wait list if there's no time to negotiate with someone else, but you absolutely have the right to take the time to make the right decision.

That being said, one option to (hopefully) make everyone happy is to be very aggressive with researching the school in the meantime--talk to or email with all the professors you'd be working with, ask if they have current and/or former students you can talk to, etc. Even if you don't get a chance to actually see the campus, you might well find out something that will help the decision along.

But I still think you should not feel guilty about taking your time, if in fact you just can't decide before you visit. You have to be your own advocate. Good luck!