Can any one grade this essay ?

[AbdelRahman B]

"Success in any realm of life comes more often from taking chances or risks than from careful and cautious planning."

The term ‘success’ usually comes as a result of a lot of efforts done. We cannot say that successful persons reached to their positions by luck or waiting a chance. It is a long way requires planning and preparations. The methodology of taking chances or risks to achieve success does not as effective way as does careful and cautious planning, because planning is the guideline of the way of success, and good planning takes into account chances and risks.

Success has a long way to pass with efforts and patient, and this way has to be organized and full of preparations. Such ways could not guide to success without good planning, which is the guideline for such ways. Many successful persons achieved their positions by a lot of efforts and planning, rather than waiting chances. Tareq El-Suwaidan, a pioneer in the field of management and leadership sciences, might be a good example of such issue. As he raises the value of planning and preparation for success, he says that he had not waited for any chances, but he had worked hard in planning, and after being fully prepared for possible chances, they began to come. Thus, planning usually guarantee to achieve success, and it might be considered as the guideline of the way of success.

In addition, making plans does not negate the chances might come and risks might be involved with. In fact, it is preparing for them. Good planning takes into consideration alternative scenarios and calculates probabilities of chances or risks that may happen, and then plans how to deal with them all. Therefore, when a chance comes, it would be a plan for taking it, and if any risk occurred, it would fully prepared for avoiding it.

Hence, we cannot rely on chances and risks for seeking success. Rather, we have to plan for all possible was, and work hard to reach to what we had planned. Therefore, success surely comes more often from careful and cautious planning.

[I_Charge_by_the_foot]

I've taken the GRE 3 times and gotten all 5 for the AWA.

My opinion on your writing style: you make so many grammar mistakes. You did a good job including an example, and it's the only reason why I'm not giving you a 2.5. Your example was decent at demonstrating your point, but it could be improved.

For example, I rewrote your introduction while making as few changes as possible to keep it close to what you wrote.

"The term ‘success’ usually comes as a result of hard work. We cannot say that a successful person has reached their current position by luck or chance. Success generally requires planning and preparation. The methodology of taking chances or risks to achieve success does not seem as effective as does careful and cautious planning. Inherently, planning is the guideline to the path of success, and good planning takes into account chances and risks."


As is common with a lot of non-native English speakers, you NEED to use "the" and "a" more. This is how any english speaker can identify a non-native English speaker.

Edited February 16, 2018 by I_Charge_by_the_foot