Question about updating letter writers

[JustPoesieAlong]

So I'd like to update one of my letter writers with whom I'm particularly close about my news so far. Buuut I actually had four letter writers and changed a couple of them out depending on the school. I guess it would have made sense to share this information from the get-go, but I didn't, and now I'm afraid I'm going to offend said letter writer by telling her this now. Am I being over-anxious? Did anyone else do this? Thanks in advance for your input!

[TakeruK]

I'm not sure what you are asking exactly. It sounds like whatever you are telling them will reveal that you didn't use them as a letter writer? For both grad school and postdoc job applications, I didn't use every potential letter writer for every application. Like you, I used the ones that fit the best to each application.

If you're sharing good news, such as "I got into X program" but it turns out that you didn't use this person's letter for X program, then I don't think it would be a problem. I wouldn't even mention it. Just share the good news. Chances are that 1) the letter writer won't remember if they wrote a letter for that program or not, and 2) if they did, they probably wouldn't care since they understand that people choose the best fit letter writers. If for some reason, they ask you about it directly, you can say that you ended up not soliciting a letter from them for this program because you already had enough letter writers.

If you're contacting them for some other reason, then maybe the above also applies, but if not, perhaps some details might be helpful. 

Finally, if you are anxious about all of this, and the reason you want to update your letter writer is to share news of acceptance, you could wait until you have all offers in hand and have decided where to go before updating the letter writers.