Depressed/lonely after coursework/ comprehensive exams

[Guest Chiper91]

So I did all of my coursework last fall and passed my comprehensive exams in the Spring. I am now in the process of writing my dissertation prospectus. Most of the time I feel lonely/ homesick and depressed. I try to occupy myself with work but most of the times it does not help. I try to reach out to my friends/ peers but people don't want to socialize or are busy with their own work.

I feel like I am generally loosing interest in my research or in academia in general. I don't know what could possibly help me. Maybe I just need more money (current budget forces me to be very frugal) or go visit home. I am international student who has not been home in 5 years. Maybe I just need to change my profession. I don't know. Has anyone felt like this before? Is this normal to be like this after coursework.

[ZeChocMoose]

5 hours ago, Chiper91 said:

So I did all of my coursework last fall and passed my comprehensive exams in the Spring. I am now in the process of writing my dissertation prospectus. Most of the time I feel lonely/ homesick and depressed. I try to occupy myself with work but most of the times it does not help. I try to reach out to my friends/ peers but people don't want to socialize or are busy with their own work.

I feel like I am generally loosing interest in my research or in academia in general. I don't know what could possibly help me. Maybe I just need more money (current budget forces me to be very frugal) or go visit home. I am international student who has not been home in 5 years. Maybe I just need to change my profession. I don't know. Has anyone felt like this before? Is this normal to be like this after coursework.

This is not uncommon.  I know I felt a bit lonely/loss/burnt out once I was done with my coursework and my comprehensive exam because the imposed structure was gone and I was not necessarily running into my cohort mates randomly anymore w/o setting up lunch dates/study dates.

If you can afford to go home for a bit - I would suggest that.  I know just taking a break and being around people who love and support you unconditionally can be very rejuvenating.  This also might help with your loneliness and homesickness.  I also suggest finding an outlet other than school.  Is there anything you want to learn that is non-academic or any hobby that you can pick up?  I volunteered in my community and I picked up a hobby that was very helpful to gain a social circle outside of school stuff.  It also gave my perspective on the stress of finishing up and finding a job. 

The best advice I can give you on the school front is to impose an accountability structure on yourself so you can feel like you are moving forward and making progress on your dissertation.  Some suggests are meeting with your dissertation chair regularly, form an writing or accountability group with people in your program, or hiring a writing coach.  I did all of these things (not usually at the same time (!) except meeting regularly with my chair), but they all helped to make sure that I was moving forward with my goals and are the reasons why I finished.

The biggest issue that I have witnessed is that people tend to drift a lot once they are ABD and maybe erroneously think that a structure will be imposed upon them to help them finish.  Usually, this does not happen.  You need to come up with your own accountability structure, loop in your chair/committee, and make sure that you are meeting your goals each semester.  It takes practice to figure this out - but it will be invaluable to learn this if you decide you want an academic career.