Is this shady?

[EarsToHear]

I have yet to hear back from my first choice program, and I have a feeling that I will hear something towards the end of next week. Meanwhile, I have been accepted to my second choice, and have been given a deadline of March 19 (this Friday) to decide. I really do not want to ask school B for an extension, as I don't want them to think I am ungrateful or selfish, or that I don't want to go to their school. At this point I feel that the best thing to do would be to call school A and ask politely when I can expect to hear back from the department. So, my question is this: Is it shady to accept school B's offer, and then change my decision if school A accepts me? It sounds wrong just typing it, but I honestly don't know what else to do because I like both programs, but obviously my first choice has priority. Thoughts?

[JustChill]

Well, usually as soon as you accept an offer you have to sign a legal contract, from which it's hard to get out of. Once you sign that contract, you're gonna have to get that school to officially release you from the contract to go somewhere else.

[washndry]

I have yet to hear back from my first choice program, and I have a feeling that I will hear something towards the end of next week. Meanwhile, I have been accepted to my second choice, and have been given a deadline of March 19 (this Friday) to decide. I really do not want to ask school B for an extension, as I don't want them to think I am ungrateful or selfish, or that I don't want to go to their school. At this point I feel that the best thing to do would be to call school A and ask politely when I can expect to hear back from the department. So, my question is this: Is it shady to accept school B's offer, and then change my decision if school A accepts me? It sounds wrong just typing it, but I honestly don't know what else to do because I like both programs, but obviously my first choice has priority. Thoughts?

Based on what I've seen on these forums, asking for an extension to the accept deadline, especially when it's almost a month before April 15, is pretty normal and acceptable. I doubt if you call up and ask they will put a note in your file that says "is thinking about other programs too, let's rescind the offer." Worst that happens is they say no, and then you can worry about whether your proposal is good or not. Calling school A for an idea on the deadline I think is also ok, though accepting an offer you know you might later change your mind on sounds unfair to the other applicants to school B, especially if there's any funding attached.(And has potential legal complications, as JustChill mentions)

Edited March 17, 2010 by washndry

[origin415]

If the school is part of CGS, they cannot ask you to respond before April 15th. Ask for an extension, which is rightfully yours. This is shady of them, not you.

Also they already accepted you, they arent going to unaccept you if you ask for an extension, so it really can't hurt you.

Edited March 17, 2010 by origin415

[johndiligent]

It's not shady or rude to ask for more time to think. It's one of the most important decisions of your life, don't make it because they pressured you or you felt pressured into hurrying.

If you can at all avoid accepting an offer that you're not sure you're going to take, then don't.

For what it's worth, all of my programmes have been very amenable to extending the deadline. I felt bad at first that I might be extending it only to end up rejecting them, but I have to make the best decision for me, not for them.

[zerolife]

did you just receive the offer letter from School B? If so I think March 19th is a very short time expect you to respond. Most people probably need more time to dig deeper about the program or do a campus visit. I would definitiv ask for an extension and mention that you want to use the time to visit their campus.

> Is it shady to accept school B's offer, and then change my decision if school A accepts me?

I've done that for undergrad. I regretted later that I accepted the offer. Wrote a letter explaining my reason and they even refunded me the deposit.

[so47]

I am pretty sure that legally, they have to give you until April 15th to decide. Most reputable schools are part of CGS, which requires them to give you until April 15th to make a decision. So check the next link to see if your school is a member, and if they are, call them and say that you need until the April 15th deadline

List by region of schools that are in CGS

http://www.cgsnet.org/Default.aspx?tabid=102

Resolution stating they have to give you until April 15th

http://www.cgsnet.org/?tabid=201

Hope this helps!

[Tinoply]

It never hurts to ask. One of the programs that accepted me originally asked me to notify by March 15th. I promptly let them know I would likely not have heard from all of the other schools I'd applied to by then and they backed off. Good luck!