How Much Should Location and Personal Life Affect a PhD decision

[PunPrincess16]

Hi everyone, 

So I managed to get interviews and admits from my top 2 schools (wildest case scenario for me, honestly) and now I am having trouble making a decision. My field of interest in very niche (virology/virotherapy/gene therapy essentially) and these were some of the few schools I found that had a specific program for it. 

School A - The research is top of the field, but not 100% what I have been interested in so far. The faculty I met treated me very very well during recruitment weekend but I would need to meet more of them and rotate before I really click with someone. I liked that they provide guaranteed funding no matter how long the Ph.D takes (though they said they make sure students don't go into 7-8 years) so that there isn't as immense pressure to hurry up and finish. I love the city, it is very vibrant and great for someone as young as me and even though I'll be across the country from my main family, I do have some relatives nearby. They also have a certificate program that requires you to do a short internship in translational work in industry during the Ph.D, which would help me narrow down industry vs academia as my final goal. Lastly, the school and its faculty are so reputable, getting my PhD here would open a lot of doors in the future. I know it's also based on your work, but I think I could be very successful here. 

School B- The research is 100% what I've been interested in, and is also top of the field. The stipend they offer is significantly better (both in amount and considering cost of living), but is only guaranteed for some number of years and then you have to appeal to renew it. I did really click with the faculty and already know which lab I'd likely want to pick if I rotate (from what I've seen, both his work and mentoring style seems to suit me and I know he wants a student). The downside is that the city has extremely harsh winters (reached -60F one winter) and I am quite sensitive to cold. Also, a lot of the graduate students are married and older, which means there would be very few people my age I could meet. I come from a University and City that has a lot of people so I don't know how well I can be a person at this school. 

Basically, should I pick a school that I am slightly less excited about the lab but would likely thrive personally for the 4-6 years, or should I go with the PIs I'm the most excited about even if it means I might be less happy in my time outside of the lab. 

School B gave me a deadline of no more than a week to accept so I'm feeling a little rushed. I know both are great programs but I've been making myself anxious that I will make the wrong decision and then regret it once I'm in the program I choose.

Does anyone have any advice?

Edited January 27, 2020 by PunPrincess16

[Evidencebasedlogic]

If it were me, it would come down to what you value more and also the impact those decisions would have on your future.  So I see it as a problem that needs to be broken down into smaller problems.  Based on your descriptions, I think those problems could be broken down into personal, education, and future.   And from here, I'd try to weigh which of these 3 categories you value ranked from 1-3.  If personal factors are ranked 1, then school A would likely be my choice.  It'll allow you to foster the right environment for you to not only be successful in the classroom and out of the classroom.  You'll likely feel less personal stress, which as you know, will allow you more ability to be stressed in the classroom (lol).  Now, if you care more about the content of the education and how it relates and reflects your areas of interest, then school B would be the better choice as you will likely feel more comfortable with the subject matter, faculty, and overall confidence in your abilities to be successful.  I'd say future is the wildcard.  Despite what anyone tells you, sometimes going to the more prestigious university will have potential at opening up more doors, new opportunities, or even getting yourself published in the top journals in your field.  If these two universities are equal in caliber, then this is obviously not a concern for you.  

At the end of the day, I'd always try to break a major problem into smaller problems, however you decide to separate it.  And if all else fails, go with your gut.  Never change an answer on your test, and never change an answer on your gut decisions.  

Good luck, hope that helps.  

[ZeChocMoose]

I would probably lean more towards the school that has the better academic fit with the PI that I clicked with (trust me, this is super important) than life factors - but that is me as I tend to value work/school conditions over location. 

Your concerns about School B don't seem that difficult to work around.  You are concerned that the graduate students are older and married so that would make them what - less friendly? less able to get along with? less likely to hang out with you?  It is not really clear to me why older and married would necessarily be bad.  In grad school, I hung out with people 5 years younger and 15 years older than me and honestly didn't notice a difference when it came to our interactions.  Some were married with kids, some married w/o kids, some partnered, some single, etc.  You'll have the shared interest of the subject that you are studying to bond you and honestly, I find it more interesting to be friends with people who are less like me than more like me.  As long as they are kind - that is a way more important trait than their age or relationship status.  Even if you don't hit it off with the other grad students, you can find friends outside of your department or the school.  I also found it healthier to have friends that were not so caught up in grad school as it helped me realize that grad school shouldn't be that serious.

In terms of cold - I get it.  I am also temperature sensitive, but there are ways to deal with extreme cold.  A super warm jacket, boots, winter clothing, etc. can go a long way.  And usually when the temperature is that extreme - you don't go outside much in the winter and you really live for the summers.  I live in extreme heat now (really not my favorite) and you make adjustments.  I don't go outside much in the summer, stay in the AC for most of the day,  and plan exercise for the wee hours of the morning (not a morning person so this is also rough).  I really live for the winters/early spring here though because it is my idea of a great temperature. 

[PunPrincess16]

ZeChocMoose,

Oh no, I didn’t mean to imply that I couldn’t interact with people different than me! I was wasn’t speaking from a colleague perspective. 

It’s just that I come from a culture where it is highly encouraged to find a significant other in your twenties. Since pretty much everyone in the town school B is in is affiliated with the school (it’s a small town) and many are as I said married and older, the students even stated very clearly that the pool of potential single students is very low and most people don’t really have a social circle outside of the school. This is compounded by the fact that people stay inside due to the extreme cold (I wore four extremely warm jackets during the interview and was barely warm enough so I think there is still an upper limit to bundling up XD).

 It feels like a really silly thing to be concerned over but as a fairly social person, I don’t want to pick a place and then feel like I can’t do non-grad student things. 

All in all, I’m sure now it’s obvious that school A is the right place for me, but I think it took a lot of mental work to let go of school B, cause like you said I have tended to prioritize work over personal matters. I just wanted to make this post in case anyone else was also struggling with a similar issue.