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Posted

Alright, so I am a grown-ass person. I took several years off to save for retirement and whatnot. I enter the PhD, it's all great, and I fall for someone even older than I am who is in the same department and cohort but entirely different concentration. Time passes, we realize we are truly, madly, deeply cheeseballs and this might be some fairytale level bullshit. Again, I'm grown and have a sense of love/not-love and what works/doesn't. I have a great deal of vaired experience. Still, I also know not all things work out and I have a great track record of amiable ex relations. We also don't seem to be distracting each other too much from studies. My questions: 1. Am I a delusional dumbass for thinking I can have this great relationship and get this degree? 2. Do we have to/should tell the department? 

Thanks!

Posted
19 hours ago, Maylee said:

My questions: 1. Am I a delusional dumbass for thinking I can have this great relationship and get this degree? 2. Do we have to/should tell the department? 

Thanks!

There is nothing wrong to date someone in your PhD cohort. It happens more often than you think. I have already seen a few couples along the way. As you said both of you can manage the relationship with your studies, then it should not be a problem. That said, make sure you remain professional at the office, i.e. nobody wants to see you get heated or argue with each other. 

Unless you two have conflict of interest, I doubt you need to inform the department. However, please check your department's policy to be sure. 

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