Grad school tribal icwa... or family?

[Bjohnsonund]

Grad School, Tribal, ICWA Opportunity or move to be around family..... Long but need advice!!

Hello everyone, 

I am struggling with deciding on which career path is right and I need some unbiased opinions. 

Bit of back story-

I am in the final semester of my BSW completing my internship working with Children and Family Services at MHA Indian reservation. Internship started completely unpaid and I was just helping across the entire agency, CPS, Foster Care, Case management, Family pres... Within a week of starting, they offered me a job as the sole ICWA Specialist to represent the tribe (their ICWA dept is a complete mess and I know nothing about ICWA, and the last worker quit as soon as they tried to hold her accountable for the mess...).. so $25 per hour full benefits, bump to $28 once I graduate and get my LBSW license. 

The tribe also offered to pay $5500 for this last semester of school and will pay for me to get my masters, while working for them.  So they want to pay me $60k per year and pay for grad school.

So all that is wonderful.. yipee!! BUT...before this happened

Over the past year personal issues have come up and my husband and I decided to move after I graduate and finish my internship (we moved out to North Dakota for him to work in the oil field and have zero family here..we have three small children) ... I was intending to move to rural Idaho, complete my masters online while maybe working part time.... But this is all in the same town as my entire family so support for my three kids would be amazing. 

Working out in that area would be only $12 per hour until I got my MSW then maybe $40k per year. 

Our house for sale and under contract to close on April 30, and we when out and found a house in Idaho and started that process.... 

So fudge... do I put a hold on moving my small children to be close to they grandparents and cousins, work part time and try to pay for grad school myself....

Or stay where I have no family, but a good job, amazing benefits, and school paid....also to me another big thing is the experience working ICWA on the reservation would go along way.....  it would be another two years out here.. 

So family now or career???

[ayshaface]

I personally would say career in this instance, for multiple reasons.

1. I think that the benefits of working for a few years to pay off school now and to have that experience with you outweighs that of a couple of years of "support" for your children now. I put support in quotes because they also have different supports if you stay; greater financial support.

2. While children always come first, I think it sends a powerful message to show your children that investing in yourself, even though it comes with some sacrifices, is worth it. You will feel more confident in yourself I imagine if you have this added to your resume, have school paid off, and have possibly saved up some money by working at a job that pays more than what you've been currently living off of. I gather this based on how I'm reading you talk about the experience.

3. It's clear to me from your writing that you're wanting to stay for the job, but feel guilty about putting yourself above your children. Yet I think that in a sense, you are still putting your children first; improving the quality of your financial situation, your career, and empowering your sense of self will all go a very long way when it comes to both how you parent and the example you are setting for your kids.

 

I think either way it's a tough call. I also don't have children, though I am a step-parent (partner has two little ones). I also think that no matter which decision you make, you might feel that sting of, "Did I make the right call?" No matter what, following your gut will always be the best call.