First Generation College Student... now PhD

[Infinite Monkeys]

I'm not first-gen college; my mother had, as of when I went through undergrad, an ASN, and her family has one MA and a smattering of BA/BS degrees. But I'm definitely the first to go into a PhD program. All the men in my family tend to be law enforcement or military, and all the women are nurses or homemakers. We've been working class (sometimes verging on middle) all the way back to the 1600s.

I don't think that I had issues in fitting in with my BA or MA classmates, since the CSU system tends to draw people of similar background to my own. English is a pretty open discipline at those levels, I think. Religious studies (my other undergrad major) was roughly the same, although the student age range was much larger. I think I had a similar experience to Victorian Tess, and, like her, I anticipate my PhD Religious Studies program will be similar as well: good school, not an Ivy, but solid, and very likely to draw a wide spectrum of students to it. (Victorian Tess, if you are who I think you are, hi! If not, um, hi anyway?) Blending with peers and faculty at school and at conferences hasn't been too bad.

The hard part has been fitting in with my family. They're very focused on education, but at the same time, they can't decide how they feel about this. On one hand, they brag about me getting into a program to anyone and everyone they meet, but at the same time, I get a lot of crap for it. I've heard "when are you ever going to get a real job?" "are you ever going to be done with school?" and "so now you've got a degree in not one but two useless subjects" and so on. There's a lot of comparison of my goals with those of my younger brother, who finished college right on time and went directly into his general field. He has a *real* job. I'm a writer and editor and therefore am not working a *real* job as I wait for my program to start.

I feel, like other posters, that I'm getting to be a fair hand at speaking multiple languages: home, work, and school. I code-switch like crazy, and while it's a pain to do, it keeps everyone happy. I love my family, and I've found over the years that it's just easier to not talk about what I do when I'm with the family. It keeps everyone from getting angry, it keeps me from feeling like I'm on the fringes, and all told, it just makes life easier.

[American in Beijing]

This has been bugging me.

This issue of condescension has to be a humanities thing? Most everyone that I have met in my field thus far have been superb people.

I'm in the humanities as well, and I never felt condescension from my classmates in undergrad (top-30 liberal arts college). After the first year, I didn't even notice a real difference between us anymore. The classmates I've met from Berkeley all seem to be very nice and welcoming as well. I guess it depends on the culture of your individual department/school. Also, I think there can be a big difference between undergrad and graduate school. My language program had a lot of grad students from Ivy League schools from different disciplines. Many knew I was from a rural area with no connection to East Asia (very unusual in my field, lol) and a non-Ivy school, and I never felt they treated me any differently because of it. However, I went on vacation with a bunch of my classmates at the same program from Ivy League undergrad programs, and I definitely felt some snobbery going on. "Oh my God! I've never even heard of that kid's school. What is he doing HERE?" It was all very childish.

I'm not saying that discrimination doesn't go on, but I think maybe a part of the reason why some people feel that their classmates look down on them is due to their own insecurities. I know I often feel like I don't express myself as eloquently as some of my classmates from better education backgrounds do. I get really embarrassed, which often makes me talk even more ineloquently. But then when I express my concerns to others, they always tell me to stop worrying about it and that no one really thinks about it.

I feel like my biggest challenge in the academic realm is my lack of confidence. I'm still not used to defending my position in a discussion group . . . and definitely not during presentations. If I can learn to give good presentations in grad school then I'll be satisfied with my experience.

[American in Beijing]

The hard part has been fitting in with my family. They're very focused on education, but at the same time, they can't decide how they feel about this. On one hand, they brag about me getting into a program to anyone and everyone they meet, but at the same time, I get a lot of crap for it. I've heard "when are you ever going to get a real job?" "are you ever going to be done with school?" and "so now you've got a degree in not one but two useless subjects" and so on. There's a lot of comparison of my goals with those of my younger brother, who finished college right on time and went directly into his general field. He has a *real* job. I'm a writer and editor and therefore am not working a *real* job as I wait for my program to start.

Lol, my family says the exact same kinds of things. When I told my family I was planning on getting my PhD, my brother said: "I don't see why historians get to be called doctors. They don't do anything!" Sometimes I feel that if I had stayed at home and become a bank teller like my cousin my family would be more proud of me. At least that's a "real job."

I have a good feeling that a good reality TV show about grad school life might make more people realize how difficult being a grad student can be. Maybe the student who finishes a quality dissertation first could win a cruise to Hawai'i or something . . . I would watch that show.

[Infinite Monkeys]

Lol, my family says the exact same kinds of things. When I told my family I was planning on getting my PhD, my brother said: "I don't see why historians get to be called doctors. They don't do anything!" Sometimes I feel that if I had stayed at home and become a bank teller like my cousin my family would be more proud of me. At least that's a "real job."

When I first told my mother I was going to apply for PhD programs, she damn near wrecked the car. Memo to self: save significant revelations for times other than merging onto the freeway.

I have a good feeling that a good reality TV show about grad school life might make more people realize how difficult being a grad student can be. Maybe the student who finishes a quality dissertation first could win a cruise to Hawai'i or something . . . I would watch that show.

lol I would too. I'm all for televising the process; it's the only way most folks are going to see it's not Ivory Tower pretensions, it's long hours of dealing with courses we're taking, courses we're teaching, and scrambling to get hired in something when all is said and done.

I'm hoping that one of my areas of interest will help me connect better with my family. Religion and pop culture might help us to meet halfway.

And to your previous post: the nasty snobbishness I received in the MA wasn't a matter of my background but my research focus at the time. Just about everyone else was working in Composition & Rhetoric, and there was a small but nasty contingent that really thought I was a lesser student because I worked almost exclusively in American lit and religion. That's all the snobbery I had to deal with, and in the end, that area (with pop culture) might end up paying off for me.

[American in Beijing]

When I first told my mother I was going to apply for PhD programs, she damn near wrecked the car. Memo to self: save significant revelations for times other than merging onto the freeway.

lol I would too. I'm all for televising the process; it's the only way most folks are going to see it's not Ivory Tower pretensions, it's long hours of dealing with courses we're taking, courses we're teaching, and scrambling to get hired in something when all is said and done.

I'm hoping that one of my areas of interest will help me connect better with my family. Religion and pop culture might help us to meet halfway.

And to your previous post: the nasty snobbishness I received in the MA wasn't a matter of my background but my research focus at the time. Just about everyone else was working in Composition & Rhetoric, and there was a small but nasty contingent that really thought I was a lesser student because I worked almost exclusively in American lit and religion. That's all the snobbery I had to deal with, and in the end, that area (with pop culture) might end up paying off for me.

Lol, I managed to wait until we were at dinner. No danger there! I even managed to tell them before we got our meals, so they couldn't even choke! I got really lucky there.

Unfortunately studying communist/socialist history is not exactly something that will help me better connect with people who grew up in conservative, rural families during the Cold War, lol. Fortunately, they don't fully know that's what I'm studying, so I don't get too much crap for it yet. I already get some comments about Berkeley the "hippy Commie school" . . .

And honestly, those snobby people in your MA will definitely regret NOT studying religion and pop culture when they have to go on the job hunt and everyone else has studied the exact same things they did. All the power to you, !

[VictorianTess]

(Victorian Tess, if you are who I think you are, hi! If not, um, hi anyway?)

I am who you think I am. Hi! Random running in to you here. :-)

[Infinite Monkeys]

I am who you think I am. Hi! Random running in to you here. :-)

I know! I figured you were around here somewhere. I'm here more often now that I'm not waiting for results. Before that, there was just a little too much anxiety. How're you doing out there? All settled in?

Unfortunately studying communist/socialist history is not exactly something that will help me better connect with people who grew up in conservative, rural families during the Cold War, lol. Fortunately, they don't fully know that's what I'm studying, so I don't get too much crap for it yet. I already get some comments about Berkeley the "hippy Commie school" . . .

Oooh yes. Religion gets the same suspicion with my extended family; they'd be okay if I were going into the clergy or something, but the fact that I'm open to studying other religions definitely makes the conservative/rural/Cold War relatives a little nervous. I think some of them think I'll just randomly convert or something. The fact that an ex-boyfriend sent me a hand-painted hijab while he was in the Middle East absolutely did not help.

And honestly, those snobby people in your MA will definitely regret NOT studying religion and pop culture when they have to go on the job hunt and everyone else has studied the exact same things they did. All the power to you, !

Thanks! I've got my fingers crossed that it'll still be valuable five or six years from now. Even now, my undergrad/MA institution has started offering classes in rock music as literature, vampire lit, and things like that, so maybe it'll bleed into our religious studies department in time. Woot for employment!

[VictorianTess]

I know! I figured you were around here somewhere. I'm here more often now that I'm not waiting for results. Before that, there was just a little too much anxiety. How're you doing out there? All settled in?

Settled in to the new place and acclimatizing/waiting for the semester to begin.

[seeuthere]

First Generation White Collar is also a good read for graduates

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/061539082X

I definitely relate to this thread also, you should have seen me trying to explain what Biostatistics is to my family and co-workers. I'm not going for a PHD but I am the first female in my extended family to go to college, period. My Dad got a bachelor's degree on the GI Bill after serving in the Korean War but he was the only one to go to college before me.

If you want another good book to read on this subject I very highly recommend "Limbo: Blue Collar Roots, White Collar Dreams" by Alfred Lubrano. It is amazing.

http://www.amazon.co...78968883&sr=1-1

[chaospaladin]

I can't recommend the following book enough if you're coming from a working class background:

http://www.amazon.co...e/dp/1566392918

Good luck not crying over the last chapter, though.

Even if you're not, finding allies is extremely important. And in my experience, most everyone will likely have little understanding of your lived experiences. I often find my colleagues have much better understandings than I of the system and the hurdles to be crossed. I try to be as open about my ignorance of some of this stuff as possible, and it seems to be working well. Finding an advisor that understood where *I* was at was also crucial to the success I've had.

I think the most difficult part for me has been coming back home for the holidays. My folks don't understand what I do, and I come home speaking leftist polysyllabic gibberish. They're incredibly supportive...but its been a bit alienating with relatively well off colleagues on one hand, and my parents on the other. The socialization of academia has been transformative, and I don't think I was ready for it when I entered my program. I'm still kind of not ready for it.

But I'm doing it. And so will you, if you choose.

I definitely relate to this thread also, you should have seen me trying to explain what Biostatistics is to my family and co-workers. I'm not going for a PHD but I am the first female in my extended family to go to college, period. My Dad got a bachelor's degree on the GI Bill after serving in the Korean War but he was the only one to go to college before me.

If you want another good book to read on this subject I very highly recommend "Limbo: Blue Collar Roots, White Collar Dreams" by Alfred Lubrano. It is amazing.

http://www.amazon.co...78968883&sr=1-1

First Generation White Collar is also a good read for graduates

http://www.amazon.co...duct/061539082X

Thanks for telling me about these books. This thread and this thread: is so heartwarming for me to read since I am a 1st generation university student and if I get accepted into a PhD program, I will also be a first generation PhD student.