Anxiety about not being able to find a lab

[hyperpolar]

I'll start with some background for why I'm anxious and my efforts so far. I’m currently at the end of my first year of my Master’s program and I’m struggling with joining a lab where I can do my Master’s thesis in. Since the summer of last year I have been working in a lab where the project is in the field neuroscience but I am doing almost secretarial level work as the project is still being built up. As I support myself with no grants/scholarships, my motivation for remaining in the project was because I was getting paid (sporadically) and I could still be involved in something that is relevant to neuroscience. Though any undergraduate could do what I do. Now I find myself questioning my capabilities as I haven’t developed new skills or knowledge the past year. The fact that my time spent in grad school doesn’t seem to be adding value to my future PhD application is sending my anxiety through the roof. I tried applying for PhD programs (Fall 2019) however that didn’t work out so I’m already dreading round 2.

My current PI was checking if I want to do my Master’s thesis in the current project but I’m trying to resist it by all means. I plan to join a second lab just for the purpose of my thesis because I would really like to do something in network neuroscience and at least learn something new in the field if possible. My advisor told me the tail end of the project might involve something about network neuroscience but I definitely don't see that happening and it's not his field of expertise. Searching for professors/relevant labs within my department has been challenging. I’ve tried talking to people and sitting in on lab meetings. However, I did find 3 potential labs to join in other departments. One professor hasn’t responded to my email for months, I recently reached out to another new professor joining the school (fingers crossed) and for the last one I’ve been feeling too unprepared/demotivated about sending out that email in case I botch what appears to feel like my last chance at a more relevant master’s thesis.

This is my first time cold-emailing professors. Trying to articulate my “research interest” (which doesn’t feel like much) and making some connection with my interest and their lab direction feels difficult. So I would like some help/support/advice reaching out to this last lab. I’ve been trying to critically read 1 or 2 of their papers and I’m not sure how to best present myself at this point. I’m not sure whether I have an issue with anxiety or aptitude but I have definitely exhausted myself trying.

I would appreciate any help!

[Inspired]

It seems to me that if you make a plan for your laboratory, you will be more organized and your anxiety will pass.