PhD Statistics - Diversity Statement Feedback

[statstudent]

Hello,

I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe. I am finishing up my applications right now and I have seen that many offer an optional section in which you may provide information about yourself and how you contribute to diversity. Diversity and inclusion are important to me and, with everything going on in 2020, I figured I would miss a valuable opportunity by not answering these sections.  These tend to be very brief statements (<1000 characters), so I was wondering if anyone would be willing to provide me with any feedback on mine. Thank you!

"Through my personal experiences, I have developed an intimate understanding of the pervasiveness of discrimination. *personal anecdote here; removed for the sake of anonymity*. Consequently, I believe I hold unique perspectives that allow me to pose meaningful questions and address pressing issues concerning social inequity and racism.

Beyond my ethnic background, I believe I contribute to diversity through my intellectual motivations. My interests in interpretability and methodological statistics may be seen as a divergence in the age of big data - but are driven partially by its social implications. Particularly, I recognize that big data and complex decision-making methods can not only be often superfluous but also potentially harmful. They can inadvertently perpetuate structural racism in their applications, e.g. algorithms disproportionately denying minorities loans, and I seek to develop methods to resolve this issue."