Rushed into grad too early, burned out, now want back in

[AndyColada]

I went straight from undergrad into a PhD program. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do with my life yet. I liked the subject I was studying, but I wanted to explore other possibilities in life besides academia. But I was expected to apply to grad school by my professors so I did, and I got into an alright program, so I went. After a year I was depressed, not getting any work done, and dropped out.

Now it is 4 years later, the funding for my original program has expired. I have worked in a couple of different jobs and considered many options, but I find that I am spending ALL of my free time on my graduate field. I recently picked up some of my old Political science books and loved them. Is it too late for me to get back into a program? I feel desperate. I am not passionate about anything in life besides this, only it has taken a few years living in the real world to find that out. I wish I had never gone to the first program now because it is hurting my chances to go back.

[eucalyptus]

I don't think all is lost! You'll have to apply to new grad programs, but I don't think your prior experience will necessarily be a bad thing. Just list it on your CV as having taken some grad-level courses (you didn't actually get a degree from that school, so this is essentially what you did).

If you did some good work while you were there, try getting in touch with some of your old professors. Explain the situation and how you've grown since then. See if one of them is willing to write you a LOR. You don't really need a LOR from your one year of grad school, but it would definitely be helpful to have someone vouch for your ability to tackle grad classes.

On the other hand, if you did poorly in all your classes during that one year, you're going to have to address it (either directly or indirectly) somewhere in your application. You can do this in your SOP or in a separate statement - say that you rushed into grad studies prematurely but have since grown up a little (but say it a lot nicer than that!). Another way to address bad grades, if you have some time before you're hoping to apply, would be to take a couple grad classes at a local university and do well at them. This will show you're serious and will provide proof that you've changed.

Good luck!

[AndyColada]

Thank you so much for your reply, eucalyptus!

As a matter of fact I did not do poorly in all of my classes, however I did get an incomplete in my two math classes. I would say while I am extremely interested in Political Science apart from the math, pure formal theory does turn me off. However, I am afraid I did not leave the best impression at the school for obvious reasons. As a first year I did not get that much time to build relationships with my professors. I would be lucky if they still remember how I did in their classes. This is a real dilemma to go back and ask for recommendations.

My undergraduate professor probably remembers me better because I spent a couple semesters as his research assistant and worked on a published paper with him. However, he also wrote my original recommendations and it would feel awkward to ask him for a recommendation to another school, even though this time I am actually confident I would do well. Thank you for your advice in any case. You gave me some hope.