Ask for suggestions on modifying a philosophy writing sample

[Muhuai]

I am currently a philosophy undergraduate in China and I am going to apply for the master program(one year, English taught) of philosophy provided by Leuven University. And now I am working on a writing sample on young Karl Marx. More specifically, this essay focuses on Marx's view on legislative power in his Contribution to the Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Law. Although I have modified my essay under the advises from some of my friends, this sample remains far from satisfaction. So I would like to ask for suggestions on modification. And my goal is to make my argument more rigorous and language more accurate and fluent. Also you can inform me of other ways of paper modification in addition to gradcafe. If you can help me, I will appreciate it very much.