Declining Offers...What do you say?

[snagsby52]

I just wrote my first email declining an offer, and it was made that much worse because they really wanted me. Several professors had written to me (starting at the end of January,) and they tried (but failed) to get me a university fellowship. One of the professors asked me about the details of my other offers, so I had to give her all the information, and I felt sick afterwards. However, I comforted myself with the idea that there will be an ecstatic student taken off the waitlist.

I think it is best to write an email explaining the difficulty of your decision. In my case, this was easy. I really liked two of the professors, and would have been extremely happy to work with them, but they weren't offering me nearly as much money as the other schools and there was far too much teaching involved. It was a question of knowing myself, and knowing that I couldn't live on such a small amount of money while also working so much. I think writing a (slightly long) email is best, because it shows that you are respectful of the time they spent on you, and are willing to spend time with a kind response. However, I also hate talking on the phone and have a hard time saying "no," and feel that the conversation on the phone would be painful for both parties involved.

What does everyone else think? I will have to decline other offers over this next month--is there really a nice way of doing it? Is anyone else having a hard time declining offers?

[Canadianpolsci]

I think that a short and polite email to each of the professors who you have been in close contact with, plus the department chair or contact, is in order. And that is all. Look, its a personal and professional decision, and these are professors, experienced in these matters. Tell them it was a tough decision. Thank them for the generous offer. And that's that.

Don't lose sleep over it. No one else will.

[Minnesotan]

Yep. Short and sweet is best, methinks.

[snagsby52]

This was initially meant to be a reply to someone who wrote in about declining offers in 2006. I didn't look at the date when I wrote it, and then when I realized I was 2 years too late, I thought that it would be an interesting point of discussion in 2008. Some of the rejections I've received have been pretty crappy--like the one from Rutgers. We get upset when we receive these less than kind letters, perhaps the professors do to, and I want to be bigger than the schools who put your work in a whirlpool of applications only to spit out an unthoughtful rejection letter.

[LaraAnn85]

I am going to have to reject at least one offer and I am going to feel really badly. Of my two acceptances, both professors have been SO nice to me, we've been communicating since November so we've e-mailed for a long time and I just went out to visit them. One school's offer is pretty low, so I can blame it partly on that. I mean they realize that just by visiting and expressing interest there is no guarantee, but I am still going to feel really badly :cry: