Applying to grad school as a couple

[luci]

Hello everyone,

I will be applying to a grad school with my fiancee for Fall 2011. We are hoping to get accepted from the same university. We are currently in the same department (ECE) and we will apply to the same department. Our specialization areas are different, though. What I would like to know is that, if one of us gets accepted from a department, will it create any advantage for the other? Would things be different if we are married (having the same last name) or just engaged (having different last names) during applications? We can marry right away if it will help us during admission process. Otherwise, we are planning to get married at summer, after the decisions come out. If we get accepted from schools that are far away, we will probably not be able to attend grad school. It is really tough Would you recommend stating this special situation in our letters?

Any help will be appreciated.

Edited October 11, 2010 by luci

[newms]

What I would like to know is that, if one of us gets accepted from a department, will it create any advantage for the other?

This could be advantageous if one of you gets accepted and that department really wants that person to come, but realizes that he/she could only come if the other of you is accepted. This could accelerate the other party's application decision or maybe even give him/her a bump in the process. That said, you shouldn't tell schools that you are in a relationship like this until after you have applied. Here is some good advice on situations like this from a prof who applied with her fiancé to the same schools or schools in close proximity:

http://sites.google.com/site/gradappadvice/the-two-body-problem

[luci]

This could be advantageous if one of you gets accepted and that department really wants that person to come, but realizes that he/she could only come if the other of you is accepted. This could accelerate the other party's application decision or maybe even give him/her a bump in the process.

Thanks newms, the webpage you mentioned has some critical information. Shortly, we will not mention about our situation during our applications, but if one of us gets accepted, other's dept will be immediately notified.

Having said these, is being married different than being engaged for the reviewers of our applications? What I understand is that, solution of the two-body problem is not related to the level of the relationship. It is just about informing the dept about my attendance to the program being dependent on my SO's acceptance. Are we on the same page here?

Edited October 11, 2010 by luci

[newms]

Thanks newms, the webpage you mentioned has some critical information. Shortly, we will not mention about our situation during our applications, but if one of us gets accepted, other's dept will be immediately notified.

Having these said, is being married different than being engaged for the reviewers of our applications? What I understand is that, solution of the two-body problem is not related to the level of the relationship. It is just about informing the dept about my attendance to the program being dependent on my SO's acceptance. Are we on the same page here?

Right, I don't think that whether you are married or engaged will make a difference - you are both American right? I may be wrong, so perhaps others who have been through this situation could give you some advice as well.

[luci]

Right, I don't think that whether you are married or engaged will make a difference - you are both American right? I may be wrong, so perhaps others who have been through this situation could give you some advice as well.

Nope, we are both from Turkey. Any other ideas?

[newms]

Nope, we are both from Turkey. Any other ideas?

Oh ok. I was thinking that if one of you were an American and the other not, then it might make a difference if you were married before you applied since the one who would have been international, could apply as a resident. But since you are both international, then it might make a difference in terms of if one of you got into grad school and the other didn't. In that case, if you were married, the spouse who didn't get in to grad school would be able to come and live with the other in the US with the required visa. I don't know if it makes a difference otherwise though.

[adaptations]

I'm going through the same process right now, as my fiancé and I are both applying. We are not mentioning our engagement or anything in our application, except when applications ask questions like "Is your partner/spouse also applying to a program at the university." I don't think this is something you emphasize until after one of you has been admitted. Best of luck.

[ladycarolina]

I'm in the same situation, it's really tough indeed. May I ask to how many schools you are applying, luci and Mocha?

Wish you good luck!