Sloppy SOP

[DrOrpheus]

I need help. Lots of it, and not necessarily of the SOP-writing variety, but that's not important right now. If someone would be so kind as to PM me to look at mine or do a switch, I'd appreciate it. I did just post on Livejournal so those of you who are members of the applyingtograd comm there please disregard.

Apps are due Jan 14 and 15.

Thanks, and good luck to all!

[DrOrpheus]

Wow. I'm really on top of it. I should have mentioned I'm applying to History and Classics MA programs. In the interest of saving time, I'm going to post my SOP here. This is my 3rd draft.

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Writing my undergraduate thesis, “The Evolution of the Macedonian Navy and Naval Siege Warfare Under Philip II and Alexander III”, was my first experience with extended historical scholarship. I reached a deeper understanding of Classical Greece and found the confidence to not only boldly assert my own views, but also to challenge the scholarship of other historians. I still have an active interest in the topic and propose that I use my thesis as a starting point for graduate research. I am eager to expand and enrich other areas within the paper, such as the politics and technology of the period, which will provide excellent avenues for further study. For example, the influence of orators on the Athenians’ actions against Philip and his motivation for the development and implementation of military technology are two topics which intrigue me.

Beyond the insights and confidence gained, composing a thesis allowed me to acquire the critical historiographical skills necessary for graduate study. I experienced the frustration of incomplete, often problematic primary sources and navigating through modern scholarship in its various languages. To combat these challenges, I developed the ability to analyze multiple sources and extrapolate the most useful information. I enrolled in a reading-specific German course, which has proven to be invaluable in my current research assistantship. In addition, I have concentrated my recent coursework in building Classical language skills so that I may conduct research more effectively.

As proud as I am of my thesis, I feel I should emphasize that my broader area of interest is in Classical Greece, with warfare, politics, and legal systems as particular foci. To prepare for advanced study of the Classical world, I have taken coursework in history, literature, mythology, and archaeology. Outside of the classroom, I performed fieldwork in Virginia in preparation for future excavation work abroad and have been assisting Dr. Super on her Big Project. In addition, I have presented one paper, and expect to present three more before I graduate in May 2011. Extracurricular activity in several national and student organizations has allowed me to share my enthusiasm for the Classical world with others. However, I must address my poor early academic performance. I entered college straight from high school but was not prepared for such a major transition, and I took time off before returning in 1999. I became the victim of an on-campus crime shortly thereafter, and the fallout from that resulted in the failure of several classes. I have worked diligently to earn high marks since returning full-time in 2006.

I intend to continue studying the Classical world for the rest of my life, and it is my goal to augment this by continuing the tradition of disseminating the rich cultural heritage of ancient Greece to subsequent generations. In order to do so at the collegiate level, I am pursuing an M.A. degree with the expectation of moving forward into a Ph.D. program afterwards.

Choose Your Adventure!

1. I am attracted to the University of Greatness for its prestigious reputation, and to the Philology and Classical Studies M.A. program for its interdisciplinary approach. I also appreciate the program’s number of faculty members and their range of interests, particularly Professors A, B, and C. Their work in the fields of Athenian law, politics, art, and archaeology appeal to my own research interests.

2. I am attracted to the University of Perfection not only because of my familiarity with the campus, but also because of its growing reputation as a research university. The University’s History department is one of the few that offers an Ancient History specialization while still meeting my other criteria. Professor Amazing has influenced my undergraduate work greatly, and I welcome the opportunity to work with him in an advanced capacity. His expertise in the areas of Classical Greece, ancient warfare, and Alexander the Great prove to be the best fit with my own foci. In addition, the archaeological expertise provided by both him and Professor Fabulous satisfy my desire to continue my education in an interdisciplinary fashion. The University of Perfection's Classics department will also enhance my knowledge of the ancient world with its coursework in philology and cultural affairs.

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I'm feeling this 3rd draft pretty well. It's within the limits for my prospective programs. The only thing I'm waffling on is the ending, which seems abrupt to me. I've gotten some feedback on LJ but only a couple of people really provided any meaningful insight. I'm hoping to get a few other opinions. I'm concerned with the lack of a "hook" intro, but I like how it currently just gets right to it. I am also never sure about the proper capitalization of descriptors such as Ancient (history), Classical (world), etc. Thanks!