worried!!

[rosalind_krauss]

hi from a long lurker.

i'm going into my third year and realizing that i, above all else (museums, galleries), would prefer a professoriate track career. as i understand it, grad school seems to be of utmost importance. i can't help but be extremely worried about my chances of admission into a "top" school (mainly HYP, IFA, Columbia) given the current climate and my situation and have resorted to scrounging around on the internet in search for some insight from others. 

 

my background:

- interested in modern and contemporary european and american art 

- currently attending small lac (ranked 15-20), gpa: 3.98, major: 4.0

- independent research and working in college museum collections starting from my first year, decently prestigious two-year research fellowship, at least 2 publications by my third year (two exhibition catalogue texts), at least one research assistantship, curating and running a small gallery, summer internship at a local commercial gallery, presentations at a few conferences, working a digital humanities job and acting as a writing mentor starting in my third year

- i will likely have taken the max number of art history courses my school allows (nerd alert), i am a heritage speaker of a language unrelated to my research, apparently B1 in german, and will begin french in the fall on top of continuing german

 

my concerns:

- people don't seem to care about my research/i don't do a good job selling my research. i am working long term on a very obscure artist in who a guest scholar (from this two-year fellowship) expressed explicit disinterest in... i am very passionate about my work, though, which they kind of made fun of me for lol...

- 2/3 of my recommenders i have in mind at this time have terminal mfa's though they are people i am very close with. would it be worth it to switch out one, or both, of my mfa recommenders to art history professors that might have a less through understanding of what i'm about? also, my department is very small (four full professors) and, while i love them all a lot, none of them seem to be Huge names of any sort

- my dept doesn't seem to have a good track records of placing students into really elite phd programs, though the school as a whole seems to be deemed a "feeder" in other areas (which i am vaguely skeptical of)

- i interview really, really poorly (extreme anxiety/general awkwardness) though this may not be a valid concern as it is totally possible i may never even reach this stage

- i have one W and an A- on my transcript in the same semester, and my course of study is extremely narrow (only humanities courses second year onward)

 

tl:dr: nervous undergraduate asks: is it over for me?

[BridesheadRevisited]

You sound like you have accomplished a lot for an incoming junior. Kudos! I think you are worrying about some of these things prematurely and may be putting the cart before the horse. Deep breaths!!

As a junior, you are probably just starting upper level seminar classes and perhaps independent research (based on my own slac experience). This is a great time to start developing your relationships with professors who may eventually write your recs, think about doing a thesis (if offered at your college), take classes outside of modern/contemporary art, etc. If you have the means, I would apply to do an internship with a major museum or collection next summer. You can also use the next two years to practice skills like interviewing (something that may or may not come up in grad school applications, but is a good skill to have). It's great that you already have your languages well underway (especially the German).

My biggest recommendation is to talk to your art history professors and see what they suggest re: grad school and specific programs. PhD applications are not like undergrad apps--there aren't really safety or reach schools. Prestige/program rank is certainly important to consider (especially when thinking about job/fellowship opportunities postgrad), but it's just one of many factors. First and foremost, you should be applying to programs based on research fit (aka you are applying to work with a specific scholar). Modern and contemporary art is a massive field, and each PhD program will have its own culture that you may or may not resonate with. Some questions you can have in the back of your brain as you go through your classes this year/the next: Whose research do you find interesting? What methodologies do they use? Who did they study with and where (or alternatively, who were their students?)? 

With the academic job market being what it is, it is a good idea to be as flexible as possible. If you continue, you will likely be applying to both academic and curatorial track jobs after your PhD. Keep an open mind and talk to as many people working in your field as you can, so you can hear what their career paths have been.

Re: your other concerns:

• I'm sorry that you feel as if your research or enthusiasm has been minimized, but I wouldn't linger over any offhand remarks like that. Not everyone will be as interested in your research as you are and you have to develop a tough skin for criticism (while still keeping an open mind about the limitations of your project(s)). That being said, your research will grow and change significantly over the years--it is unlikely that the research you are doing now will be the same as your dissertation project. 
• You have over a year before you will be applying to grad school--I would develop your relationships to your art history profs, as they will be able to comment on your academic work most effectively (assuming that these mfa holding profs are studio art teachers?)
• Don't worry about past department placements, your undergrad ranking, etc. There are very few cases where this actually matters much, especially within top 20 slac rankings
• An A- will not hurt you, I promise (again, take some deep breaths. Your gpa isn't the be-all, end-all)

Best of luck! You will be okay!

[agnesmartin91]

So much of graduate school admissions (like the job market) is unpredictable. All you can do is put your best foot forward and remember that much is out of your control. Very accomplished candidates get turned away left and right. So much is just plain old luck! However, I do think it is worthwhile asking yourself if being a professor is really what you want. The anxiety will never get better (especially as the tt-track jobs most likely end up going extinct). Can you live with this feeling in every research fellowship application cycle? Job market cycle? Professional review cycle? I wish I had thought about this more before embarking on grad school.