Visiting School Dilemma

[looking!]

So, I was waitlisted for one of my second choices (school A) but after some time found out that I got into my top choice (School . However, I was in a dilemma as I personally like the first choice more (better school, more prestige and I just know more about it as I visited) however personally the second one is better (closer to my partner geographically). A few days ago the POI (School A) I was in touch with contacted me saying that one of their original applicants was not coming and the person who might be offered admission next (from the waitlist) depends, among other things, on their probability to accept. I told her that I had an offer from another top choice, I preferred their school for location and was more inclined to accept at this point. But that I was still deliberating the decision. (which is about the most accurate reflection of the state of my mind at THAT point)

I was recently informed that I have an offer from that school. Now here is the dilemma

1) As the days pass and I find out more about my first choice, I like it more and know I want to go there (and not just for reasons like 'prestige'). Admittedly I am not so knowledgeable about the second choice. However if I am quite convinced that I will go to the first choice school, I feel it is unethical for me to go for visit the school A (given they spend some amount of time and energy on it). Also, while I dont intend to take my time and inform both schools ASAP, I feel that I might be depriving another applicant on the waitlist of this chance.

2) However, I feel it might be weird to tell the professor I am not coming for the visiting weekend, when I told her the school is one of my top choices. Mostly, in the last few days I not only found out more about my first choice that strengthened my decision, but I gained more clarity regarding my personal life (if that makes sense).

Again this is a tough choice to start with because this isnt a back up school or anything. Which is why I am even deliberated till so long... Any thoughts would be really helpful.

[Lymrance]

So, I was waitlisted for one of my second choices (school A) but after some time found out that I got into my top choice (School . However, I was in a dilemma as I personally like the first choice more (better school, more prestige and I just know more about it as I visited) however personally the second one is better (closer to my partner geographically). A few days ago the POI (School A) I was in touch with contacted me saying that one of their original applicants was not coming and the person who might be offered admission next (from the waitlist) depends, among other things, on their probability to accept. I told her that I had an offer from another top choice, I preferred their school for location and was more inclined to accept at this point. But that I was still deliberating the decision. (which is about the most accurate reflection of the state of my mind at THAT point)

I was recently informed that I have an offer from that school. Now here is the dilemma

1) As the days pass and I find out more about my first choice, I like it more and know I want to go there (and not just for reasons like 'prestige'). Admittedly I am not so knowledgeable about the second choice. However if I am quite convinced that I will go to the first choice school, I feel it is unethical for me to go for visit the school A (given they spend some amount of time and energy on it). Also, while I dont intend to take my time and inform both schools ASAP, I feel that I might be depriving another applicant on the waitlist of this chance.

2) However, I feel it might be weird to tell the professor I am not coming for the visiting weekend, when I told her the school is one of my top choices. Mostly, in the last few days I not only found out more about my first choice that strengthened my decision, but I gained more clarity regarding my personal life (if that makes sense).

Again this is a tough choice to start with because this isnt a back up school or anything. Which is why I am even deliberated till so long... Any thoughts would be really helpful.

I am having a bit of trouble figuring out quite what your question is. Are you asking whether you should still visit a school if you've actually decided to already go elsewhere? If that is your question, then I'd say the answer is "No." No, you should not waste a school's time unless you are still seriously considering going there and have not accepted an offer from another school.

Another poster asked almost this same question earlier, so you might want to read the responses:

"Should I still meet with an advisor, if I'm not going to that school?"

[fuzzylogician]

If it's at all possible, I think you should visit. Not because of what the professor at school A might think, but because you should make the most informed decision you can--which involves gathering all of the information that you possibly can. Given what you describe right now I would advise you to choose school B, but I still think it makes sense to know all you need about school A before you make that choice. Don't feel bad about taking someone else's spot, as long as you are not decided. Campus visits can cause significant changes of opinion, so I don't think you can and should decide until you visit. Once you visit and make a choice -- yes, don't wait to inform the other school so they can move down their list and admit someone else. But before then, it's your offer, you earned it, and you shouldn't feel bad about taking your time to seriously weigh it against your other options.

[looking!]

If it's at all possible, I think you should visit. Not because of what the professor at school A might think, but because you should make the most informed decision you can--which involves gathering all of the information that you possibly can. Given what you describe right now I would advise you to choose school B, but I still think it makes sense to know all you need about school A before you make that choice. Don't feel bad about taking someone else's spot, as long as you are not decided. Campus visits can cause significant changes of opinion, so I don't think you can and should decide until you visit. Once you visit and make a choice -- yes, don't wait to inform the other school so they can move down their list and admit someone else. But before then, it's your offer, you earned it, and you shouldn't feel bad about taking your time to seriously weigh it against your other options.

Thanks for your reply! It really made me think about the issue and make a decision. I am visiting the school and liking it so far, and I am sure I ll make a more informed decision in the end, no matter which school I choose.