I'll talk to the professor. Need your suggestions.

[xzjohn]

Hi, buddies

I've been trying to get in touch with a professor in my target program. After millions of e-mails without any replies, he finally would like to have a talk with me over the phone. We have arranged for a phone interview next week.

Now, I need your suggestions and I've got several specific questions.

1) Should I tell him the reason I wanna apply is that my girlfriend is a current student in that university and I'd like to live w/ her? Well, I'm truly interested in his research, too, but to be frank, that's not the top reason for my application to this program.

2) Should I tell him I'll also apply to another university, which is way better than this one, 'coz I also have good connections with a professor over there. For example, if he asks "why you're sure you will take my offer rather than XXX university?" Can I come up with an answer like "'coz my girlfriend is in your school."?

3) Should I make an explicit commitment in the interview, or I should take advantage of this opportunity only to get more information about his research, without making any commitment?

The truth is, if he makes me an offer, I'll definitely take it 'coz of my girlfriend. But, if he doesn't and I get an offer from another university, I'll take that one.

Any suggestions are welcome.

[solefolia]

I don't think mentioning your girlfriend is a good idea at all. If you have interest in his research and like the school on some level, then that is reason enough to be applying. I imagine professors know that applying students have a good sense of what their top school is, which school they'll choose over another if accepted by both, etc. For him to ask why you would pick that university over another doesn't seem like a fair question in general and I don't even know if you should expect to hear it. Someone else in your field or someone else who has experienced a call like that might be able to give better advice.

But I think mentioning your girlfriend in any way sets up a big red flag. Whether or not it's likely to happen, the first thought that someone will likely get is, "What if they break up?" And in this case, does that mean you'd leave the program if your only reason for being there was because of her? Will your work suffer because you're trying to find a new place to live or because you're upset about the breakup? These are big "What Ifs" but something that I wouldn't blame a prof or adcom for taking into consideration.

I think you might be looking into it too much. People base their decisions first (hopefully) on a good fit. Secondary criteria depends on the person: Some people want prestige, some people don't want to live where it's cold, some people want to be in a city, some people want to live in a diverse area. And those reasons are fine because eventually you will have to make some tough choices between programs if you're accepted to more than one. But I don't think most people would mention their desire to live someplace warm for their reason for choosing the school, especially if they were speaking with a professor. Fit should be good enough.

[torakichi]

About 1), I concur with solefolia that you shouldn't mention it. Keep the conversation professional. The point is why you would be a good candidate to do research with him, not what your personal life looks like.

About 2), I'll tell you about my experience. I have spoken to professors from about 10 different programs. All of them asked me at some point what other programs I was planning to apply to. None asked me to make any commitment or assure them that I'd choose their program over program X. If anything, my explanation about the other programs I was looking into seemed to convince them that I had "done my homework" and was serious about grad school. I think it pays to be honest with your potential advisers, and they'll respect you more that way.

[misterpat]

Yeah, just discuss the program. Not that it's a good reason to choose a program anyway, but in the unlikely event that he does corner you with such a question and you hate lying, you can always tell him the location of the school helps make it more favorable to you than the school that's ranked slightly higher. He probably won't discern from you saying this that location means where your girlfriend is located. 8)

[xzjohn]

Thanks for all your suggestions.

I've been reading the professor's papers these days and plan to gear the conversation toward the research direction, rather than my relationship. I'd expect him to ask me some questions about research, application and maybe career development after a PhD. Well, those are easy questions. I'll come back and share my experience with you guys and hope it'll be helpful to everyone.

BTW, I contacted the professor in the other program, requesting for a phone talk 'coz I wanna know more about his research. Below is his reply.

At this stage, it might be a bit early to discuss specifics about possible research, since you're just in the process of applying now. Let's hold off until you've been accepted, then I'd gladly speak with you. In the meantime, if you'd like to see more of our research, you might check out the following recent articles.

He attached several research papers to this email.

So, now, what should I do? I previously expected him to "carry me over" the admission process but now it looks to me he would like to go "hands-off", letting me get through all by myself. It's only Oct now and the on campus interview will be sent out in late Jan. What should I do during the 3 months?

Thanks.

[timuralp]

Err, that is precisely the response I would expect most (if not all) professors to give. Very few of them have any effect on the admission decisions and expect to speak with students when they were admitted, not before then, precisely for that reason. I've talked to a few that I've worked with when I was applying and they mentioned how many emails of the same sort they get and they don't have the time to actually respond to any of them. Here's a sample general statement that you might get: http://www.eecs.umich.edu/~bnoble/prospective.htm, although you got one already

As to what to do for the 3 months, maybe wait for the admission decisions and focus on your studies or read more papers to figure out where you'd fit better, etc. good luck!

[Ferrero]

What might be a good approach would be to take your girlfriend with you to the interview. Explain that she's a student there, but not in your professor's field. Then tell him that if you are admitted, you would repay him for his kindness. Wink and nod suggestively.

[xzjohn]

Alright, I just finished the phone interview. Technically, not an interview, just a chance to know each other better.

It was about 20 min, and, I first talked about my research background and interest (65% of the conversation), then he introduced about the projects in his lab (30%), like the aim and staff engaged in each project. I think we had a very good match 'coz all his questions about my research hit the nails and the ultimate goals of both his and my research are actually the same. Finally, he talked a little about his funding situation, LIMITED now. He said he has no openings at this moment, and waiting for a grant approval in next spring. If he can get it, he'll recruit a couple of students on that grant in next fall so he said :"it's still quite possible we have a chance to work together, and you're welcome to indicate my name in your application materials. We can keep in touch." At the very end, he also mentioned some other professors doing similar research.

As far as I know, the first year financial aid is a department fellowship for all incoming students and each student should choose a advisor in the first year and from the 2nd year, the advisor will hire the student as a RA in his lab. Well, technically, I don't think funding should be a problem at the application process.

So, fellas, what do you think? I sorta feel not bad, but not good, either. It seems like I'll have to carry myself over as well for this program :cry: