SOP Ctritique needed

[jibby-zaks]

Howdy Folks,

I'm applying to a Masters in Finance [MCF] program at three different Business Schools - SDA Bocconi in Italy / ESSEC in France/ Tepper-Carnegie Mellon in the US.

I have completed a Motivation Letter/ Statement of Purpose explaining why I would like to be admitted to the graduate program, my career intentions and a little bit about myself that hasn't already been covered on other aspects of my application.

There is a 2 page limit that I have stayed under.

It has already been proofread - I need opinions on whether the subject matter needs to be altered.

I'd send my first - and so far only - draft, via email or PM, to anyone who generously offers to critique it and present me with suggestions.

Needless to say, I'd be more than glad to return the favor.

Thank you,

- Jibby-Zaks

Edited May 27, 2011 by jibby-zaks