Critique for my SoP

[ts10vsg]

Hello All,

I would deeply appreciate, if anyone could critique my SoP. This is my first draft and hope to better as much as possible.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/17yjPl8nAVudBR6iDuozctmrIqFCIJnlLj4bfX-qG0C0/edit

Comments are welcome

Cheers

[ts10vsg]

Okay, since no one has commented on my SoP (assuming that it is a hyperlink). I putting it in other way.

__________________________________________________________________________

The dramatic increase in demand for global and local transportation over the past few decades has created unprecedented pressure on existing transportation systems. The ineffectiveness of traditional design, planning, & investment methods have lead me to consider that these man-made systems cannot be viewed in isolation but are part of a complex, multi-dimensional system requiring a multi-objective approach. This interdisciplinary approach towards existing transportation system has provided me with a new framework in which situates my interests, and I am eager to explore what further factors are required in understanding, analyzing & sustaining these robust and resilient systems.

After completing my bachelor’s degree in civil engineering, I pursued my master course in Geo-informatics. Although, the course taught modules whose applications are widespread, I encountered its application in the area of critical infrastructure systems to be more appealing because of the inherent spatial phenomena associated with these systems. This inspired me to develop a model which exploited geo-spatial data using information technology (IT) to solve the complexity of connectivity issues pertaining to the electrical load distribution network. Only to be later submitted towards my dissertation thesis.

Working with some company name, the company adopted my model on experimental basis over its real time electrical network. The output helped in visualising the spatial coverage of the electrical network and the load concentrations, leading the organisation to efficiently address their operation and maintenance objectives. in which traditional top-down approach was counter checked by bottom-up approach to increase efficiency of the network. Later, during my stay with the organization, I honed my skill towards integrating existing information systems (CRM, ERP Systems) with geo-spatial technologies to address issues in the field of utility sector, transport planning etc.

Identifying my definitive propensity towards conducting research in transportation networks by utilizing mathematical modelling and optimization techniques, organization offered me a sabbatical. This allowed me to complete my post-graduation course in the field of transport planning & engineering from XXXX. Here, I undertook modules like Transport Modelling, Transport Network Modelling, and Public Transport Planning & Management. The modules not only provide me the core skills in the field of transportation engineering but also proved to be pillar stones for my future research.

My dissertation topic on “The relative importance of distance against time in traffic network equilibrium model” at XXXX, demonstrates the impact of relative valuation of travel distance w.r.t travel time on % of trips assigned to the alternative routes, travel time, and delays respectively. The tests established that for a given OD demand, there is a general tendency of network equilibrium models, to assign more number of trips to the shortest route, when user-equilibrium model progressively is made to favour distance over travel time. However, I was also able to reveal that there exists significant difference between amounts of traffic flow assigned, when traditional Frank‐Wolfe (FW) algorithm is replaced by Origin Base Assignment (OBA) algorithm within the user-equilibrium model. Through systematic experimental approach, the basis for such difference was identified with the issue pertaining to non-uniqueness present within the Wardrop User Equilibrium Model.

The results produced through these sets of experiments is significant in the essence that in order to better analyse the sensitivity of the network at U.E, it is important to uniquely identify the OD demand which are contributing to the total flows over the path. This has let me with following questions unanswered like: How does the network model split the total trips flowing through it, when there are more than two OD pairs attempting to use the same link? Are these results transferable to the other large networks? and different equilibrium conditions? Answers to few of these question demands good deal of knowledge that I still need to gain, such that I now desire to pursue my doctoral research in this pursuit at your Institute. The program would help me gain in-depth knowledge of how these complex systems work as well as learn how to perform rigorous analysis by being a part of meaningful and active research studies.

In the immediate future, I would like to continue with this research in my role as a PhD student. Above are few of the open problems that motivate me, and I would like to continue to work on. Furthermore, Professor XXXX and Professor XXXX’s expertise on Transportation System Analysis would be a valuable contribute to guide my own research in the future. In addition, as has happened frequently at XXXX, interacting with members of your theory group will give me an invaluable opportunity to broaden my horizons, and work in many research areas that I cannot anticipate at the moment. Given my background, I believe I am in a good position to make crucial contributions in such pursuits.

I believe learning and sharing are an integral part of research. A discovery is far from complete if one does not also find a suitable way to present it to others. Even more importantly, organizing a vast array of result for presentation is a crucial skill that a researcher must adept and share. Since, without it the researcher cannot gain a clear sense of direction in his work. Hence, my ultimate aim is to be part of academia where I can aptly utilize my education and experience to conduct and promote better research in the field of Transportation Networks.

Edited November 17, 2011 by ts10vsg

[omega2012]

Hi. I'm in the process of writing my own SOP, so I know how stressful this is. Here are some things I noticed. I think you did a nice job describing your past research experience and talking about specific research interests. You should watch out for run-on sentences. When the sentence gets very long and complicated the reader might lose interest. I'm not sure what is the convention in your field, but maybe it's better to call your "Dissertation" a "Master's Thesis" (if that's what it is). When I read the word "dissertation" I assume PhD Thesis, but I could be wrong there. OK. So here are some small suggestions I had:

The dramatic increase in demand for global and local transportation over the past few decades has created unprecedented pressure on existing transportation systems. The ineffectiveness of traditional design, planning, & and investment methods have lead me to consider that these man-made systems cannot be viewed in isolation but are part of a complex, multi-dimensional system requiring a multi-objective approach. This interdisciplinary approach towards existing transportation system has provided me with a new framework in which situates my interests. (weird phrase, don't know how to fix it), and I am eager to explore what further factors are required in understanding, analyzing & sustaining these robust and resilient systems.

After completing my bachelor’s degree in civil engineering, I pursued my master course in Geo-informatics. Although, the course taught modules whose applications are widespread, I encountered found its application in the area of critical infrastructure systems to be more (most?) appealing because of the inherent spatial phenomena associated with these systems. This inspired me to develop a model which exploited geo-spatial data using information technology (IT) to solve the complexity of connectivity issues pertaining to the electrical load distribution network. Only to be later submitted towards my dissertation thesis. I later used this model in my Master's Thesis.

Working with some company name, the company adopted my model on experimental basis over its real time electrical network. The output helped in visualising the spatial coverage of the electrical network and the load concentrations, leading the organisation to efficiently address their operation and maintenance objectives. in which traditional top-down approach was counter checked by bottom-up approach to increase efficiency of the network. Later, during my stay with the organization, I honed (further developed?) my skills in towards integrating existing information systems (CRM, ERP Systems) with geo-spatial technologies to address issues in the fields of utility sector, and transport planning. etc.

Identifying my definitive propensity towards conducting research in transportation networks by utilizing mathematical modelling and optimization techniques, organization offered me a sabbatical. This allowed me to complete my post-graduation course in the field of transport planning & engineering from XXXX. Here, I undertook modules like in Transport Modelling, Transport Network Modelling, and Public Transport Planning Management. The modules not only provide me the core skills in the field of transportation engineering but also proved to be pillar stones for useful? instrumental? in my future research.

My dissertation topic on “The relative importance of distance against time in traffic network equilibrium model” at XXXX, demonstratesd (use either present or past time for the whole paragraph) the impact of relative valuation of travel distance w.r.t (spell it out) travel time on % the percentage of trips assigned to the alternative routes, travel time, and delays respectively. The tests established that for a given OD demand, there is a general tendency of network equilibrium models, to assign more number of trips to the shortest route, when user-equilibrium model progressively is made to favour distance over travel time. However, I was also able to reveal that there exists significant difference between amounts of traffic flow assigned, when traditional Frank‐Wolfe (FW) algorithm is replaced by Origin Base Assignment (OBA) algorithm within the user-equilibrium model. Through systematic experimental approach, the basis for such difference was identified with the issue pertaining to non-uniqueness present within the Wardrop User Equilibrium Model.

The results produced through these sets of experiments is are significant in the essence that in order to better analyse analyze? the sensitivity of the network at U.E, it is important to uniquely identify the OD demand which are is? contributing to the total flows over the path. This has let left me with following questions unanswered like: How does the network model split the total trips flowing through it, when there are more than two OD pairs attempting to use the same link? Are these results transferable to the other large networks? and different equilibrium conditions? Answers Answering to few of these question demands good deal of some knowledge that I still need to gain, such that I now desire to pursue my doctoral research in this pursuit at your Institute. The program would help me gain in-depth knowledge of how these complex systems work as well as learn how to perform rigorous analysis by being a part of meaningful and active research studies.

In the immediate future, I would like to continue with this research working on these open problems in my role as a PhD student. (I would put this as a last sentence of previous paragraph)Above are few of the open problems that motivate me, and I would like to continue to work on. Furthermore, Professor XXXX and Professor XXXX’s expertise on Transportation System Analysis would be a valuable contribute to guide my own research in the future. In addition, as has happened frequently at XXXX, interacting with members of your theory group will give me an invaluable opportunity to broaden my horizons, and work in many research areas that I cannot anticipate at the moment. Given my background, I believe I am in a good position to make crucial meaningful contributions in such pursuits.

I believe learning and sharing are an integral part of research. A discovery is far from complete if one does not also find a suitable way to present it to others. Even more importantly, organizing a vast array of result for presentation is a crucial skill that a researcher must adept and share. Since, without it the researcher cannot gain a clear sense of direction in his work. Hence, my ultimate aim is to be part of academia where I can aptly utilize my education and experience to conduct and promote better research in the field of Transportation Networks. (I would delete the last paragraph altogether. It doesn't provide the reader with any interesting information about you.)

Hope it helps. Good luck.