recommender's wife died

[omnomnom]

So one of my recommender's wife died on new years eve. Thus I have not yet received my grade for his class last Fall even though it has passed the deadline for submitting grades and none of my schools have received letters from him either. I know this is a sad time for him but should i be worried about my situation here if he just decides he doesn't care anymore. Even if I notify my schools of the situation, it probably won't change anything as they'll most likely still put off evaluating me until my application is complete.

Does anyone have any advice? I am not sure I can find another decent recommender especially with this time constraint.

[ktel]

Start asking professors if they could write a letter with short notice, explaining your situation. He's probably going to be very busy and I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have the time or energy to write your letters.

[finknottle]

Yes, you should try to find someone else. And don't mail or call the aforementioned professor about the recommendations. If you meet him in person to offer your condolences, meeting you might remind him about the letters. I'm not suggesting that you should bring the issue up when you meet him, but just meeting you might remind him, and if he feels up to it he'll make an effort to write them. There is only so much you can do about it.

[emmm]

I would second the advice to find a new recommender. He's not going to be in the right state of mind to focus on recommendation letters, even if he still wants to do it. Call your schools, explain the problem, and see how long they can wait for the letters, but try to find someone new asap.

[omnomnom]

Shouldn't I let him know that I will get someone else in case he does submit a rec letter; I think I actually have to remove his name from the recommender list on some online applications and if he does submit something, it might not even go through. No one actually told me his wife died, but he did mention in class that his wife was sick and I googled him and saw in the local news about his wife dying. It just seems weird for me to tell him that I know about his situation.

[finknottle]

I'm just thinking out loud here, and it might not be the best solution. You can try talking to the grad depts. of schools that don't let you add another reommender on the online forms. You can explain the situation to them, and ask them if you can add another recommender offline. i.e. Either send the new letter through post or have it emailed to them directly. You can let your professor's name still be there on the original form on the outside chance that he does upload the letter. That way, you'll satisfy the minimum requirement irrespective of whether your prof. uploads the letter or not. If this is not feasible, you will have to discuss matters with him and put it as delicately as possible.

Edited January 5, 2012 by finknottle

[edost]

I have a similar situation, though in my case the recommender submitted most of the letters of recommendation before her husband died.

If your recommender hasn't written any letters yet, it might be best to look for another professor. If he has, then submitting it is rather technical and not too time consuming. He might be a bit late with it, but if you explain the situation to the grad schools, they'll probably understand. Besides, they usually have grace periods anyway.

Edited January 5, 2012 by edost