SOP feedback group?

[skybythelight]

I know it's a bit early in the application season, but I'm willing to bet there are more of y'all out there for whom this will be round two and may already have a working draft of your Statement of Purpose completed.

I did apply and was accepted to a few state universities last fall but decided to take a year off for various reasons. This time, I plan on applying to a wider variety of schools both location and ranking-wise, and I'm nervous that the statement I wrote last time may not be quite up to par. I plan on doing a bit of revising, obviously, to account for the year off and such, but I was wondering if any of you who have some experience writing them/feel like you have a pretty good handle on what adcoms are looking for, would be willing to give it a read and a few comments?

Ideally, I think it would be really great/productive/fun if there were a few of us who would be interested in exchanging SOPs back and forth as we go through the revision process. I got plenty of feedback from my profs last year, but not much at all from my peers, and I think that would be incredibly helpful.

[rems]

I didn't apply last year but I would be very interested in participating in such a group.

My SOP is still in the "embarrassing" phase so it's not ready to be read even my anonymous strangers, but in a few weeks or a month I'll have something to share. Let's keep this thread going! I think this could be an excellent place for a lot of us to seek help from others.

[skybythelight]

I hope so! And don't worry about the embarrassing phase... we're all going through the same thing!

[lolopixie]

Mine has gone through 2 actual application seasons of embarassing!

[shl67]

Me three for embarrassing! That being said, I would really like to participate as well. I'm on my second draft, but one step above horrible does not make for a particularly good SOP. Also, I have to write three different SOPs for the three different programs I'm applying to (Ph.D. Comp Lit, Ph.D. English, M.Ed. Foreign Language Instruction), so it's a bit overwhelming!

[skybythelight]

Me three for embarrassing! That being said, I would really like to participate as well. I'm on my second draft, but one step above horrible does not make for a particularly good SOP. Also, I have to write three different SOPs for the three different programs I'm applying to (Ph.D. Comp Lit, Ph.D. English, M.Ed. Foreign Language Instruction), so it's a bit overwhelming!

Yikes, that sounds horrifying. I slaved enough over my one, I can't imagine. Best of luck!

[nhswrestle]

Just sat down to write mine tonight. Reeaaally struggling with a hook/intro.

[Two Espressos]

Just sat down to write mine tonight. Reeaaally struggling with a hook/intro.

I don't see why one would need a hook? Trying to be too creative--witticisms, attempts at humor, etc.--could fail miserably. I've been working on my SOP all summer, and in its current form, there is no hook, no fluffy introduction, no witty remarks, no bullshit.

Tread softly.

[Stately Plump]

Just sat down to write mine tonight. Reeaaally struggling with a hook/intro.

The best writing advice I ever received was to be honest. Don't write to impress people, don't try to be creative, don't think about how to be catchy; just write honestly about that which you know best. The other piece of advice I've received is to just start "free writing." Do a focussed free write and jot down any and all thoughts about graduate school that come into your head. Then erase the first paragraph or two and look for your intro in paragraph 2-3, which is usually where you begin to be honest. You don't have to live and die by that method, but it can be a helpful way to spark some ideas.

I don't see why one would need a hook? Trying to be too creative--witticisms, attempts at humor, etc.--could fail miserably. I've been working on my SOP all summer, and in its current form, there is no hook, no fluffy introduction, no witty remarks, no bullshit.

Tread softly.

I agree that the hook can backfire mightily. Attempts to be too creative can be dangerous. So too can attempts to be too straightforward. If yours is the 50 or 60th personal statement the reviewer has read that day that has made no effort whatever to standout, it will in all likelihood be tossed in the pile of uninteresting SOPs. Conversely, and this was probably your point, if yours is the first personal statement the reviewer has read all day that has made no effort whatever to standout, after 50 or 60 that tried too hard to impress and grab interest with unnecessary witticisms, you might be rewarded for your conciseness, clarity, and professionalism.

Remember that there's no formula for these things. I'm sure that both SOPs that have creative or interesting hooks and SOPs that are overtly professional and concise have and will be accepted.

My SOP did have a bit of an interesting hook, just to catch the reader's attention. Nothing too fancy, just a bit of personal narrative from my life story that gives a bit of context into who I am and why I am interested in academia, particularly literary studies. From there, I'm all business; no jokes, no side comments, no wasted words. Like I said, I don't think it has to be done that way. Just my approach.

Ultimately, the goal is to stand out and be remembered. Adcomms spend hours and hours reading and reviewing applications. When they get to the wee hours of the night (which does actually happen), and they have 40 students they want, and they can make 15 offers, how will your personal statement get them to bring your name up again? You want them saying, "What about the student who said/wrote/did X." I think you can do that with or without the "creative hook." In my personal statement, I talked about my family's business, in its third generation of family owners, and the impact it had on me growing up. When I went to visit the schools to which I was accepted, some of the professors said, "Oh yeah, you were student who talked about the family business, I remember that from your personal statement." That was what I hoped would happen.

Sorry, I've been ranting. I meant this to be a quick post. That always happens .

Good luck to all of you. Keep reading, keep thinking, keep writing. You'll get there. ---> (sunglasses for you to wear as you confront your brutal journey)

[Two Espressos]

The best writing advice I ever received was to be honest. Don't write to impress people, don't try to be creative, don't think about how to be catchy; just write honestly about that which you know best. The other piece of advice I've received is to just start "free writing." Do a focussed free write and jot down any and all thoughts about graduate school that come into your head. Then erase the first paragraph or two and look for your intro in paragraph 2-3, which is usually where you begin to be honest. You don't have to live and die by that method, but it can be a helpful way to spark some ideas.

I agree that the hook can backfire mightily. Attempts to be too creative can be dangerous. So too can attempts to be too straightforward. If yours is the 50 or 60th personal statement the reviewer has read that day that has made no effort whatever to standout, it will in all likelihood be tossed in the pile of uninteresting SOPs. Conversely, and this was probably your point, if yours is the first personal statement the reviewer has read all day that has made no effort whatever to standout, after 50 or 60 that tried too hard to impress and grab interest with unnecessary witticisms, you might be rewarded for your conciseness, clarity, and professionalism.

Remember that there's no formula for these things. I'm sure that both SOPs that have creative or interesting hooks and SOPs that are overtly professional and concise have and will be accepted.

My SOP did have a bit of an interesting hook, just to catch the reader's attention. Nothing too fancy, just a bit of personal narrative from my life story that gives a bit of context into who I am and why I am interested in academia, particularly literary studies. From there, I'm all business; no jokes, no side comments, no wasted words. Like I said, I don't think it has to be done that way. Just my approach.

Ultimately, the goal is to stand out and be remembered. Adcomms spend hours and hours reading and reviewing applications. When they get to the wee hours of the night (which does actually happen), and they have 40 students they want, and they can make 15 offers, how will your personal statement get them to bring your name up again? You want them saying, "What about the student who said/wrote/did X." I think you can do that with or without the "creative hook." In my personal statement, I talked about my family's business, in its third generation of family owners, and the impact it had on me growing up. When I went to visit the schools to which I was accepted, some of the professors said, "Oh yeah, you were student who talked about the family business, I remember that from your personal statement." That was what I hoped would happen.

Sorry, I've been ranting. I meant this to be a quick post. That always happens .

Good luck to all of you. Keep reading, keep thinking, keep writing. You'll get there. ---> (sunglasses for you to wear as you confront your brutal journey)

This is great advice, of course. I'm going to stick to the concise and professional approach. I'd add some unique anecdote that fits with my overall trajectory, but I doubt I have such an anecdote. My life's pretty boring.

[lolopixie]

Tread softly.

But carry a big a$$ stick!!!! To beat the adcoms down with!

[skybythelight]

I also struggled with how to start, and what I settled on drew praise from some of my profs and criticism from others. My academic narrative basically centers around the fact that I was an average student who felt lost as to where she was going with her degree, so decided to take some time off. When I returned to school with a newly invigorated sense of passion, blah blah blah I did tremendously better and I have a 4.0 for my final two years.

Anyway, basically I begin my SOP (as it currently stands) by talking, albeit briefly, about a D- that I received in an American Lit survey about five years ago, and how that grade was the catalyst for my deciding to drop out, which led to my figuring out that, hey I really DO want to do this, and coming back and doing infinitely better. Without all the flowery and cliche language, of course. I had one professor who vehemently argued that I should not call attention to that poor grade in such a blatant way. The majority of the others, including my department chair, thought it was eye-catching and creative without being over the top: an unexpected way to begin a personal statement that they thought would work in my favor. I only applied to a few lower tier state universities last year, and I was accepted into three out of four, for what that's worth.

I don't know if that's helpful at all... just my own personal experience.