I'm being dumb & stressing myself out

[margarets]

So I just sent my first LoR request by email.

I know, in-person is recommended, but I chatted with the admin of the school that is this prof's home base and she said email was fine as profs get these requests all the time, so not to stress about it.

But I am stressing anyway! Like TWO HOURS have passed since I hit send and I've heard nothing!

It's an absolutely stunning autumn day here, so any sane person who could manage it would be outside, not sitting in their office answering emails, and profs do have the luxury of slipping out early. So that's probably what this prof is doing.

Totally logical.

But academic anxiety is not logical. I'm pinging with "no answer because the prof secretly hated me the whole time despite giving me As and now wants to sabotage me".

Ugh. Imagine the fun times ahead if I actually get into grad school.

[ktel]

2 hours? You logically know you should be waiting a lot longer before stressing. I know some people (like me, and my supervisor) typically respond to e-mails instantly, others don't.

And yes, it was a beautiful day here today. I definitely was not at the office, was working from home and going outside whenever possible.

[Darth.Vegan]

Give it 2-3 days.

[staceyjo]

It took me almost a week to hear back from someone I requested a letter from. She was actually WRITING the letter before responding to me.

[midnight]

I haven't heard from a professor that I wrote nearly two weeks ago, and I was one of her standout students!

All of my other professors replied within a day or two.

You'll likely hear back soon.

Edited October 26, 2012 by midnight streetlight

[margarets]

Yes, you are all correct. My emotion and my intellect are at war with each other. It's still not even 24 hours so I need to just chill.

[fuzzylogician]

What everybody else said. Wait it out. It may take until after the weekend and that would still be perfectly responsive and helpful. If you don't hear back - follow up with an email or (better yet, if you can) in-person chat. What you should not by any means do is (1) put the prof's name in a form before they agree -- you don't want them to just get a letter request from a school before they agreed to write the letter; or (2) give up if you don't hear back right away. Follow up, make sure you have an answer and not assumptions about silence that you are interpreting any which way.

[Notker the Stammerer]

It took three weeks for me to hear back from one of my recommenders, who happily agreed to write me a recommendation letter. I had already emailed a fourth professor (who probably barely remembers me, if at all) before she finally got back to me.

[margarets]

I hit "send" on two more emails requesting recommendation letters and now just have to ride it out until I either get replies or have to follow up.

Ugh ugh ugh.

I'm going to be a freaking basket-case when I'm waiting on the acceptance/rejection letter. If I get that far.

Ahhhh!

[fuzzylogician]

Not that I was very different .. but there is so much waiting and uncertainty involved in the application process, waiting for test results and letters and transcripts and packets to arrive at schools, then waiting for status updates, interviews or decisions, then for visits, then making a decision where to go, then waiting for the new school year to begin so you can move to your new destination and start studying. I'm probably forgetting other things that happened too. ... So, if you can do it, you should learn to relax or you'll completely stress yourself out before grad school even starts.

[margarets]

You're right. I have to get a grip.

But good news! One prof emailed back that it would be his "great pleasure" to write an LoR. Whew!

[fuzzylogician]

But good news! One prof emailed back that it would be his "great pleasure" to write an LoR. Whew!

Glad to hear

[octopussongs]

I like to think anxiety is healthy...but on a biological level I know it isn't. I registered last night to re-take my GREs and I broke down crying, like broke down, and had this whole crisis my husband had to talk me down from. I worry all the time if I'm 'cut-out' for grad school bc this whole process is really really taxing, but we're (eventually) all grad students, studying is what we do best, not applying and jumping these endless hoops! My letter writers have been the biggest stress factor too. I'm still waiting to hear from one who agreed to write me a letter TWO years ago, I know I have to just suck it up and call her, but I hate phone conversations...

[dendy]

I'm currently delaying emailing two profs for letters---who have both written me excellent letters in the past!! Why do I do this to myself...

[margarets]

Whew! I heard back from a second prof, so looks like I've got my two letters in the bag. I follow up with the third one in a week or so (still heaps of time till the application deadline).

It's weird that this has me so stressed. I'm no spring chicken, have some accomplishments under my belt, but still! What is it about academia that is such a self-esteem smasher?