MSc in statistics SOP review + a question about addressing funding requirements

[bedmas]

While word around here is that statements of purpose don't matter much for statistics, I would really appreciate it if anyone would be able to look over mine! Apparently they need to be merely competent, so I guess I'm just looking for someone to tell me if mine is competent or if it's completely inappropriate. If someone could PM me (or post here) with the willingness to look over it, that would be much appreciated!

 

Also: the school that this is for says I should include my financial aid expectations and/or requirements. When it comes down to it, I won't be able to attend a program that isn't funded (Masters are typically funded in Canada, especially for a field like statistics), but I'm not sure what a tactful way to say that is. Suggestions are welcome!

Thanks in advance.

[selecttext]

"Since I do not have fellowship support, I will require a teaching or research assistantship. I will, however, apply for NSERC funding as well as .... during my first year."

 

While it is true that the SOP in science related disciplines is sometimes a formality, unbeknownst to you is that many equally qualified candidates may be applying to your potential supervisor's laboratory. For that reason, you should strive to have the best possible statement. E.g., don't be lazy!

Edited January 12, 2013 by selecttext

[bedmas]

That's a good suggestion for the wording, thanks!
 

I didn't mean to imply that I'm being lazy about it. Truth be told, I've been agonizing over the thing for weeks. Writing isn't my strong suit, and I'm struggling not to sound completely full of myself while not really saying anything at all. But it's getting down to application time and I'm not sure how much better I'll be able to make it, if that makes sense.

[selecttext]

If you are comfortable with posting it, we can give you some suggestions.

[bedmas]

I was hesitant to do so because I'm very self conscious about my writing, but I should probably get over that.

All the department website asked for was: A brief (1-2 pages) statement of purpose which should include your financial aid expectations and/or requirements.

And the actual application expanded on it: The statement of intent generally includes your specific area of academic interest and research topic you would want to work on, how your past education and relevant experiences have prepared you for a graduate program, what you hope to achieve during and after your graduate program, and why the particular program you are applying best suites you. 

 

So I went off that (I haven't put the bit about financial expectations in yet):

 

 

I am writing to express my interest in pursuing a M.Sc. in Statistics at X. Statistics serve to explain much of the world around us, by combining mathematics and real world data to produce information. I am interested in pursuing a career in applied statistics. Given its top department with excellent researchers, facilities, and opportunities, X will prepare me for this.

 

Having always excelled in mathematics, I began at Y with the intent to study actuarial science and become an actuary. However, when I took my first statistics course, I was drawn by the interdisciplinary nature of the subject. Working in statistics, one can make use of mathematics and computer science, and draw from problems in ecology, economics, biology, environmental science, among many more, to produce information and contribute to knowledge. I made the decision to change my program shortly thereafter. Since entering the statistics program, I have taken a wide breadth of courses, which have prepared me well to continue on into graduate studies. Ranging from theoretical, computational, and applied statistics, my coursework has given me a broad exposure to the many facets of statistics. I have thrived in this program, achieving a GPA of 3.84/4.00 in my last two years.

 

In my courses, I have had the opportunity to work on a number of projects, both individually and as part of a group, where I enjoy taking a leading role. These have allowed for excellent collaborations between my classmates and I, and I have received excellent feedback on my analytical, technical, and presentation skills. Of particular pride was a term project on the reliability of Y's Transit's C-Train trip times. I played an integral role in this project, starting with the design of the experiment and data collection. I was able to experience how to deal with problems in data collection, and demonstrated the ability to adapt and reevaluate given complications. This project allowed me to apply the statistical methods I have learnt through my courses to a real world problem, and gave me a taste of what is involved when working in applied statistics.

 

It was through my course in Monte Carlo Methods and Statistical Computing, this past fall, that I was inspired to pursue graduate studies. The professor for this course, Dr. Z, emphasized the real world applicability of the material, while ensuring a quality understanding of the theory and demonstrating unparalleled enthusiasm for the subject. In this course I was exposed to both computational statistics and Bayesian inference, both of which I was drawn to immediately. Bayesian inference is intuitive, and I am interested in its use in applied statistics, allowing for knowledge from the discipline at hand to serve as prior information. In this course, I developed strong programming skills in R, which I hope to further develop at X.

 

Beyond my coursework, I have also had the opportunity to work as a teaching assistant  for Introduction to Statistics I within Y's Department of Mathematics and Statistics. In this role, I have learnt to balance laboratory instruction, lesson planning, marking, and office hours, along with my own courses, earning a GPA of 3.93/4.00 for the fall semester. Working as a teaching assistant has exposed me to another side of academia. I greatly enjoyed teaching a subject I am passionate about, and my open-door policy and welcoming approach greatly assisted my students. I received glowing evaluations and a great sense of satisfaction.

 

The field of statistics that I am interested in working in is applied statistics, and in particular applications in ecology. While the majority of my education thus far has been based off the frequentist approach, I would like to expand my knowledge in Bayesian statistics at the graduate level. Dr. A's specialization in computational statistics and Bayesian methods, and recent publications in capture-recapture experiments, make him an excellent fit for my own research interests.

 

X's strong graduate program in statistics, with excellent researchers, broad coursework, and opportunities to develop consulting skills will prepare me well for a career as an applied statistician. After completing the M.Sc. program, I intend to continue on with my studies, with the eventual goal of obtaining a Ph.D. and working in academia. My strong academic record, hardworking nature, drive, and dedication to the field of statistics have led me in this direction, and I hope to continue to develop and learn at X. I would like to thank the admissions committee for reading my application, and I am looking forward to a decision.

 

[selecttext]

Overall I think that it is good, honest and demonstrates your commitment to graduate work. You stand a good chance with the SOP as is. It just needs to be tightened up. I'll look at it some more tomorrow. I would criticize it for not being specific enough if you were applying for a PhD. For the financial bit, I wouldn't mention that you will apply for funding in your first year - only that you need an assistantship.

[bedmas]

Thanks for the feedback! I know some of the writing is sloppy, and I'll work on that some more. As for specificity, do you mean in terms of research topics/fit? I do think I should add some more on those, since it mostly seems to be about my experiences (rather than my future) right now.