Can Anyone please evaluate my SOP for MS in Operation Research. URGENT!!!

[aniket57]

From a young age, I developed an interest in the Retail industry. My father has a stationary store where I used to spend most of my time helping him in arranging different products on the racks, booking new orders with suppliers, etc.I was about 15 years old. I remember the days when there was an on-going dispute between the Suppliers and Government and my father calculatedly purchased the goods required to run the store for next couple of weeks. I felt strangely, why is he doing this?  He stored the products in the room where I and my brother used to study and asked me to arrange them in an order. Following day’s suppliers went on strike which no one has ever thought of and it lasted for almost 10 to 12 days. The prompt decision of my father kept the store running even when there was no incoming supply of products.The decisions of his always fascinate me and encouraged to pursue the Undergraduate degree in Production Engineering.

 

In the third year of Bachelors, I had a subject called ‘Operation Research’. I was fortunate to learn the concept like ‘Critical Path Analysis, Routing and Scheduling’ from Professor J. V. L. Venkatesh who himself has completed his Ph.D. in studies of ‘Assembly Line Balancing’. The subject introduced me with wide-range of problem solving techniques like the ‘Queuing Theory’. The wide range of problem solving decision such as ‘resources required to provide service, managing the flow of raw materials and products based on uncertain demand for the finished products’ always takes me back to the store and reiterates the memories. Along with this subject, another subject called ‘Production Management’ in the last year of under graduation which deals with converting raw materials into finished goods or products, decision-making regarding the quality, quantity, cost, etc., of production also captivated me. It educated me with its objective to produce goods and services of the right quality, right quantity, at the right time and at minimum cost. I learned the concepts regarding optimum utilization of available production capacity and how to improve the efficiency.

 

On graduating as Bachelor of Production Engineering, I accepted the campus offer by Cognizant Technology Solutions and joined the company as a software developer in February 2010. The company placed me in their Retail Sector where I found myself lucky to work with a client having more than 250 electronic stores all across the UK. With them, I learned various concepts regarding the product transfer from wholesalers to the stores and from there to the end-customer. I got to know in detail about the Warehouse Management. Whenever I get a chance I use to talk with the Commercial team whose work was to make sure the store have the right products, at the right time and at the right price. The stores always used to have heavy sales during the ‘Thanksgiving Day’ and on ‘Christmas day’. The Commercial team has a very crucial role in it. They used to provide lots of offers on various products during those days to attract customers.I enjoyed being a part of retail industry.

 

During the tenure in Cognizant I participated in various technical and cultural activities. I was recognized and awarded for the ‘commendable contribution to Retail practice’ by the Senior Vice President of the company. Certified for ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Foundation Program’’ and received the certificate of appreciation from Vice President for the ‘Empowered’ program.

 

 

After spending more than two years in the Retail Sector, Company forced me to work under its Healthcare domain. This is when I quit Cognizant Technology Solution and started working in my dad’s store. Spending a year working in the store and taking a close look in the retail field I think it is time for me to get the MS in Operation Research.

 

The Bobby B. Lyle School of Engineering - SMU is unquestionably among the strongest institutions in the nation with its relentless efforts to maintain and improve the teaching quality and research opportunities for its students.I sincerely believe that my passion, my long enduring commitment, and my academic, as well as experiential, work background all make me a strong fit for the Masters of Science in Operations Research Major.I am contemplating taking up doctoral studies after my MS.I desire for the opportunity to collaborate, to create and to add to the qualities of such a distinguished program. To work with the guidance of eminent professors will not only be a key to my career, but also a rare privilege. I am confident that I will match the high standards of your university and assure you that I will put in my best.

[MikKar]

Hmm, I am going to be very critical here, but your SOP feels a lot more like a biography than a SOP...

 

I think that most of what you say in there, that has to do with your past I mean, can just go as it doesn't bring anything. You're not explaining why it's even relevant, admission panels won't care and they have gazillions of SOPs to read. Try focusing on what you are interested in and why you want to do it, why at this school and not another, I think this is what your school will want to see.

 

What exactly are the guidelines the school/University/Institute has outlined for their SOP ?

[ebb]

Three general things:

Your writing has several grammar errors need to be refined (better paragraphing, and avoiding listing items (courses reasons) like you have did two places).

Your attitude toward topics should be very discussed more academic (refer to successful SOPs in your field to get ideas).

No promising that you'd do good (you need to show it by a past experience).

 

I have been applying to some PhD positions lately in O.R and learned things the hard way.

P.S. Had you been accepted back then? ;)