Rate my essay! PLEASE!!!!!!!!

[neitria08]

Thanks in advance!

 

 

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

 

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

 

 

 

 

Whether the deterioration of humans ability to think for themselves depends on how much people rely on technology to solve problems. There are no proven studies associated with technology and a persons cognitive process. Without technology we wouldn't be able to evolve. Technology has made us to be what we are as people today.

 

First, by using technology people can make information more accessible for themselves. For example instead of searching through phone books a person can just pull out their cellphone or go on the internet to look up a businesses number. The accessibility of anything is in the palm of your hands with technology today.

 

Second by using technology you can find more than one way to solve a problem. For example if you wanted to create different cupcakes for a party but did not know how to do it. If you Google the different flavor types that you wanted  the recipes would pop up and the issue would be solved.

 

On the other hand some might argue that you can lose a connection with reality and the people around you. For example getting sucked into a game after you have been playing it for a year a while. you get into the game and don't want to stop even if you keep on losing. However it should not be presumed that by using technology reality becomes a blur. 

 

Thus, technology is something on a wide scope with multiple outlets.  It is not only important for right now but also in the future as we begin to evolve more.

[lafresca]

I remember using this for GRE practice. I received a 5 on the essay portion of the GRE, and what I can tell you from that experience is: you need to write more. A whole lot more. Go back to elementary school rules and use those. Seriously. 5 sentences per paragraph (minimum), 4 paragraphs minimum. Also, the ETS has a essay grading service on their website.

[ralph87]

Hi neitria08, let me suggest to you the books that I used for my GRE. You could try some of these resources to get good help in verbal and RC. I had bought and used them and they helped me get a top score in GRE

 

1. Kaplan
2. Princeton's Verbal Workout

3. Verbal Insights -Vibrant Publishers

4. GRE Reading Comprehension- Vibrant Publishers

5. Manhattan Review

[neitria08]

ok what score would you give me and can you all give me a template of some sort that you used to prepare for the essay portion?

[neitria08]

I remember using this for GRE practice. I received a 5 on the essay portion of the GRE, and what I can tell you from that experience is: you need to write more. A whole lot more. Go back to elementary school rules and use those. Seriously. 5 sentences per paragraph (minimum), 4 paragraphs minimum. Also, the ETS has a essay grading service on their website.

 

 

what did you do for your score to be a 5?

[msb2012]

I'd appreciate it if anyone rate my essay

 

 

 

 

Learning is primarily a matter of personal discipline; students cannot be motivated by school or college alone.

 

 

 

 

Do students understand clearly the importance of learning? do students know how can learning effects directly on there future? It's an important issue based on how the student's environment deal with it. School, home, and student are the three sides of this issue, no one of them can has the main role and solve it alone without the other sides. The student must believe in the importance of learning, home must clarify this importance and support him since childhood, and school must provide the appropriate tools whether it's human or not to make good learning environment.

 

 

For example, whether the student is motivated or not, it's impossible to him to get the needed amount of learning in a poor place, in a place that can't persuade the student to stay. School environment must be balanced between the strict teaching and other activities. School must provide activities other than the regular courses such as : Soccer leagues, outside trips...etc. In addition, It's also important to keep the student comfortable in the school, nobody will go to dirty or unhealthy place, nobody can stay and learn without having at least a standard food.

 

 

In the other side, parents role is very important since it's started in the childhood. The child must understand that his life based on learning. Parents have to learn the child how to manage his time, how to set his priorities. Furthermore, parents role continued till university level, in this level parents should let the student to choose the appropriate field for him. It's a big mistake that parents have student's role and force him to study what parents want. 

 

In student's side, all the efforts that mentioned in the previous paragraphs won't make anything if the student can't manage himself. It's important to set priorities, and manage the time between study and any other activities. Student must work hard to get success, whether he supported by home or motivated by school, none of them will do anything without the student's desire to get success.

 

 

In conclusion, this issue is related to a multiple sides, each side must complement the other sides to pass this essential phase of any person life. It can't based on one side to do it all and cover the failure of the other sides. Any failure from any side will effect directly on learning phase which will effect on nations' future.

 

 

 

 

exactly 397 words

 

[msb2012]

This is an argument essay

 

 

"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."

 

 

Here is my response.

 

 

 

 

The author stated that firms should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep. It's clear that author connects the profit's increase with number of working hours for these executives. To be succeed in any job, it needs a lot of things to be done rather than number of working hours such as : training - quality of products offered by firms .... etc. This argument is rife of holes and assumptions with no evidences at all. So, it's not strong enough to persuade employers.

 

 

First, in studies that cover a large amount of employees, 300 is very small sample. People are vary in many things, 6 hours of sleep may be enough for someone, but surly not enough at all for someone else. Some very skilled people can't work very well without enough time of sleeping. So, based on this argument, employers will ignore a huge number of skilled people.

 

 

In addition, the author assumed that people who need a small amount of sleeping are profitable for their firms. Rising firms profits based on many things such as : training offered for executives - quality of services and goods they advertise for - after purchase services ... etc. There must be a detailed study among all these firms to find the real reasons for increasing or decreasing profits. It's impossible to advertise for bad products or very expensive products.

 

 

 

Last, in these studies there must be a full questionnaires filled by these executives to evaluate their working environment. Many things may effect on their performance such as : salary - bonuses - health insurance... etc. Some firms can motivate their executives by providing a perfect environment which will lead executives to do better job.

 

 

 

 

In sum, the author ignored a lot of criterias that may effect on firm's profits and focused on executives working hours. Increasing profits need a detailed studies, high quality training, and a very skilled staff. Finally, people are vary in their physical attributes, 6 sleeping hours isn't a constant measurement for everybody, some other things may or may not play a big role based on each person.

 

[Brent@GreenlightGRE]

ok what score would you give me and can you all give me a template of some sort that you used to prepare for the essay portion?

If you're interested, we have a free set of videos that cover everything you need to know for the AW section: http://www.greenlighttestprep.com/module/gre-analytical-writing

 

Cheers,

Brent