disability or chronical illness in LoR?

[Nuya]

Hi

I was wondering if anyone could give me any advice on the following:

I have a LoR-writer lined up willing to give me a - in his opinion - "glowing" recommendation. The thing is that he wants to include the fact that i have a "disability". Not a "i need a wheelchair - disability" but a more "invisible disability". However i usually dont give out that information to anyone unless i have to. He only knows because for one of his classes i needed special accomodation due to the nature of the class and thus i showed him the (in my country you can get a sort of pass stating that you have a disability/chronical illness and how much and in what way this constricts you in your everyday life - i never even applied for it myself but when i was placed in foster care it was requested by the home since it brought financial benefits... So now i am still kind of stuck with it... And since i did use it to be able to take part in his class i guess its kind of my own fault... But the class was mandatory).

He thought it was great that i was going to university even though it was that much harder for me... In his opinion all this speaks to my "motivation" and "resilience" but i am really not sure how an admissions committe will actually see this. They probably dont want a milestone around their necks. And i am thinking they will probably rather choose another applicant given the choice... What do you think? Should i ask him to exclude this from his LoR? Can i even do this or do i need to find someone else to write it if i dont want this information in my LoR? Or should i let him write it as he sees fit? The rest of the letter sounds great i just dont like or rather dont know what to think about the fact that he included this... But i am fairly certain that a chronicall illness will not be seen in a positive way by the admissions committee... So why did he include it in his letter?

Hmpf any advice on what to do?

Edited June 2, 2013 by Nuya

[Nuya]

I have been thinking about this some more... And I am more and more thinking I should find someone else to write the letter (even though it is a shame about the rest of the letter...).

Really what does that say about me? If the Prof feels obliged to include the disability in the letter it feels to me like he feels the need to make excuses? Even though he did not say it like that in the letter, but it is unnecessary for him to include this at all i think. I need to be able to compete with the other applicants anyways. I need to be as promising as possible and that is regardless of me having a disability or not...

In my opinion this really has no business being included in such a letter, right? What difference does it make really? The thing that matters in the lab and in research in general is what the results are...

I really think that this will be hurtful for my application...

 

I am really recking my brain about this.

 

And what does that even mean that this "speaks to my motivation and resiliance", as he stated it... Is there no other way for him to evaluate my motivation? For example through the work i have done in the lab, the grades i have earned in class? (just saying...  ) Does it really make a difference if i did so while having or not having a disability? In the end no... In the end the results are what matters... For the program I am applying to the circumstances don't matter... Especially since I cannot change the circumstances. I need to be competitive despite the circumstances..

 

So I am pretty sure I will either find someone else or at least talk to him again. But I would still appreciate any feedback because maybe i am seeing this all wrong, and if anyone shares my conclusion, i would still appreciate if you could tell me the reasoning that led you to that conclusion.

 

Sorry for rambling... -.- I am already freaking out now... So I am really curiouse how this will develop until December and through April after that^^

Edited June 2, 2013 by Nuya

[IRToni]

Why don't you just tell him that you feel uncomfortable with him including your disability in the letter?

 

I personally would say that it's a good thing if he brings it up in your LOR, because it speaks for you that you still managed to make it work, despite all the hardships. It doesn't take away anything from your achievements, but only makes them more impressive. I don't think it will hinder your chances, I think it might help them more. At the same time, I can understand if you don't want to come into a program and have everyone know about your disability off the bat, because that might make it uncomfortable for you! But yeah, talking to him is, I think, your best recourse.

[meaningless]

i personally won't advocate to reveal this situation to any of the committee board. to be blunt, people in academic, especially who are so superior to earn a position in University, usually are quite complacent, and against all the odds no matter you are trying to raise that up for goods or bads. just let your referrer knows about your tot and ask him to focus on positive side - not to lie, but just because you have limited space for your recommendation letter to show your brightness, make it as shiny as i can be, just like thousands of others.