UCSB Personal Achievements/Contributions

[StatsNerd]

So... most of the schools I'm applying to only have you submit a statement of purpose, or if they ask for a personal statement it is optional or there is a very vague prompt or none at all. However, for one school, UC Santa Barbara, the prompt is quite detailed... and yet I still can't figure out what they're really looking for (or what would be "unacceptable"). Here it is:

 

Personal Achievements/Contributions Statement
UC Santa Barbara is interested in a diverse and inclusive graduate student population. Please describe any aspects of your personal background, accomplishments, or achievements that you feel are important in evaluating your application for graduate study. For example, please describe if you have experienced economic challenges in achieving higher education, such as being financially responsible for family members or dependents, having to work significant hours during undergraduate schooling or coming from a family background of limited income. Please describe if you have any unusual or varied life experiences that might contribute to the diversity of the graduate group, such as fluency in other languages, experience living in bicultural communities, academic research interests focusing on cultural, societal, or educational problems as they affect underserved segments of society, or evidence of an intention to use the graduate degree toward serving disadvantaged individuals or populations.

 

 

The thing is... I do have a rather unique personal history, but not one I'm proud of. I dealt with a pretty serious mental illness growing up and throughout my undergrad that really made school a challenge (I still deal with it today, but it is more under control than it's ever been). This is obviously not something I want to go into detail about in any sort of statement, but I did give it a brief one line mention in my SOP, referring to it as a "medical condition" (which technically it is, a mental illness with medical components). I did this because I didn't want to just completely ignore the gaps in my transcripts or the rough patches I had with my GPA.

 

Anyway... I'm struggling with this UCSB prompt. I originally though that even though it has the word "personal" in the title, I should still keep it as non-personal as possible. I was going to write about a fellowship program I'm in that encourages research into health disparities and underserved communities, and about how my research interests relate to serving disadvantaged populations. Other than that, and my history mental illness, there's very little that makes me "diverse." I guess I could talk about how I'm a slightly older student (I'll be 30 in a few months) but the reason for that relates right back to my mental illness, which I don't want to talk about!   Or... should I? And frame it in a positive way (overcoming adversity)? 

 

I guess it boils down to... I don't want to get too personal even in a "personal statement" at risk of being stigmatized BUT I also want to have enough material to write about, and fear that maybe by avoiding all mention of my personal struggles I'm not being personal enough (because I'll mainly be talking about my research experience/interests which I already covered in my SOP)? 

Edited November 8, 2013 by StatsNerd

[BrianneHolden]

I'm also applying to a UCSB graduate studies program, and I'm currently writing my personal achievements essay too. I'm struggling to make my essay unique from my statement of purpose, while still maintaining an underlying 'this is why you should pick me' message.

 

With that being said, here is my two sense:

 

While I would not go into unnecessary, incredibly personal details about your life, I do think it's important to fully answer their prompt- which is basically asking you to share some aspect of your life that is personal, unique, and important to you. If your mental illness is an important aspect of your life, you could consider writing an essay framed in a way that shows how far you've come, how your education meant so much to you that you didn't let it drag you down, and how you overcame this obstacle.

 

If that is too daunting to write about, maybe you can write about your fellowship opportunity in a way that is personal to you. I wouldn't keep your essay as impersonal as possible, but rather highlight the important personal components with some explanation.

 

Also, while I think some overlap between your SOP and personal achievements essay is ok, I would avoid writing a very similar essay to your SOP. They are asking for two essays for a reason (I think/hope...) and they are not going to want to re-read what you've already written in your SOP.

 

Luckily for us, this prompt is vague in the sense that it asks us to write about virtually any aspect of our lives that is important to us (background, accomplishments...), something we want to share with them. It's a way for them to get to know us, and it's a way for us to stand out in the grad school apps.