International student asking for help with CS SOP

[vrmpx]

I'm an international student looking for the opportunity to study a Ph.D. in Computer Science. So far, I've come up with a version that doesn't want to make me start all over again and its just a page and half long.

 

 

Would someone be as kind as to give me an honest critique?

 

 

 

Thanks in advance.

[vrmpx]

Thanks! It really helped me