SoP for aero engineering, only 1 page long. What do you think?

[cheezburger42]

So, ladies and gentlemen, I wrote my SoP as concisely as possible and I would be so glad to have feedback from any of you guys tell me your favorite parts, the things that you consider must go, etc etc. I will be eternally grateful to all of you

 

PS. Excuse my english, anyway here goes... 

PS2. I'm really trying to make it short and easy to read.

PS3. Paragraph two is the one that will get personalized for each university.

PS4. This statement will also go to french and british schools, hence the kind of strange format.

 

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To Whom It May Concern:

 

The reason I want to enter your graduate program is because I want to have a professional development of the highest level in the structural sector of the industry, all in order to contribute to the creation of lightweight, economic and reliable engines. For that, I plan to ultimately obtain a PhD but before that happens, I want fully prepare by means of a Masters.

 

Your program has an interesting specialization on solid structural mechanics and has a particular attention to computational aid methods. Besides, your strong links to the industry proves that your researches have a practical application, which I find of utmost importance for the continuation of my studies at a postgraduate level.

 

I have a practical experience with the structural design and analysis of turbines thanks to my internship, as I have aided Pratt and Whitney with the structural development of an engine’s Mid Turbine Frame. One of my favorite duties is the creation of methods for evaluating discontinuities and wrong dimensions; this has even led to my graduation project of a methodology for stiffness assessments. I have also aided Honeywell with a fuel-saving high-turbine frame redesign via finite element assessments; I aim to develop these experiences during your graduate program.

 

As for my academic experience, my university’s program allowed me to learn from a wide range of relevant subjects, being my preferred ones Engines, Structure Design, Solid Model and most recently Failure Analysis and Prevention as they were the basis of my knowledge on structures and are of my interest to develop at a graduate level.

 

Furthermore, I understand all too well that the aeronautics industry and academy is global in nature; Spanish, British, and American hands have touched Pratt’s motor, for example. That is why I have taken a special liking for foreign cultures and languages such as French, which has helped me in collaborating with varied personalities.

 

I have also attended several courses at the Technologic Institute of Queretaro regarding the technical side of research, such as a proper article formulation, citation methods, and the patenting process, among other courses important for serious researches that might come along the way during my graduate studies. Finally, on my precious spare time I like to amuse myself by drawing, playing music, and cooking.

 

In conclusion, the continuation of my education through your graduate program will coherently help achieve my goal of obtaining an advanced professional development and be useful in the solution of needs that the technologic advances request to better society’s life quality. I commit to overcome any personal and cultural hindrance that might threat the degree completion, to diligently attend courses and researches, and to perform my duties with a responsible, collaborative and respectful mentality.

 

 Sincerely yours,

                                                                                       xxxxxxxxxx

[cheezburger42]

By the way, I would love to know if it's ok the short approach that I am taking... you know, writing just one page instead of a 2-3 page long SoP. I'll apply to Georgia Tech and They have this 4,000 word limit so I'm having my doubts, yet I personally believe that, were I on the admissions committee, I would just skim through such a long SoP.

[Flandre Scarlet]

I've messaged you about it.