Please I need help with editing my personal statement of purpose for Petroleum Engineering Undergraduate Program Admissions

[stevenwixom]

I would greatly appreciate if someone could help me editing my personal statement of purpose as i am trying to get into Petroleum Undergraduate Program.  Below you will find my essay. 

 

 

I never would have imagined back in the spring of 2004 when I graduated with a

B.S. Degree in Biology; that, nine years later I

would be able to say I have traveled all over the world and it didn't even cost

me a dime!  My career in the oilfield has awarded me the opportunity to travel

and work in the following countries: Angola, Equatorial

Guinea, Gabon, Suriname, Mexico, Argentina, Romania, and Poland to name a few.

Back in 2004 when I graduated my plan was to go to dental school and

pursue dentistry as my future career.  Today I can say I am glad I decided to

follow my heart and gut instinct of pursuing something else, of which at the

time I didn't know what it was going to be.  This "something else" turned out

to be the oilfield, and I am incredibly grateful I chose this career path as it

has led me to countries far and near and given me priceless experience, as well

as meeting and making friends from peoples of all nations, of whom I would

never have met, were I not to follow my inclinations.

 

I began my career in the oilfield working for Core Laboratories which is a

reservoir optimization company specializing in retrieving core samples from the

prospected pay zones of wildcat and poor performing pre-existing wells.

Immediately upon traveling out to the different wells all over Texas and out to

the jack-up rigs in the Gulf Of Mexico, emerged a passion and deep desire to

become a major contributor to our country's goal of becoming energy

independent.

 

It has been said that once you find your definite purpose in life and are able

to pursue it as your career you just worked your last day, because this burning

desire and the enjoyment you get out of your pursuit to advance the industry

becomes an enjoyable mission.  Those who have become noteworthy achievers have

always been driven by a simple goal, to make a difference.  I have found my

definite purpose in life and it is to help our country become energy

independent and the first step to becoming an asset for the energy industry to

achieve this chief aim is for me to go back to school and graduate with a

petroleum/chemical engineering degree.

 

I have always strived to increase my knowledge and gain the most experience

possible and my efforts were rewarded and noticed as BJ Services contacted me

after 3 years of working unconventional gas shale plays mainly in West Africa

and on the Barnett Shale Formation.  They called me to recruit me to their

Accelerated Field Engineer and Service Supervisor Program even though they

usually required their candidates for this program to hold a B.S. Degree in

Engineering.  I was told that they wanted me to help them in opening a new

district in Searcy, Arkansas; which at the time was on the booming Fayetteville

Shale Play in Arkansas.  They said that although I had a B.S. Degree in Biology

and didn't meet their usual prerequisite of having an engineering degree, they

believed judging from my experience working as a Field Coring Engineer for Core

Laboratories, that passing the engineering classes and certifications would not

be a problem.  Upon, completion they of their field engineering program I would

help the company in this new and exciting unconventional shale play.  I didn't

let them down as I was the only one out of 32 candidates who didn't have an

engineering degree and graduated 3rd out of my class.

 

I have chosen the University of Texas Cockrell School of Engineering to pursue

my engineering degree because I think the university's engineering program is

hands down the best in the country and the best fit for me, and what I want to

do after graduating from your great engineering program.  Particularly, what

impressed me most about your engineering program is your contributions to the

advancement of production enhancement in unconventional resource shale plays,

namely the Barnett Shale Play and what these increased hydrocarbon recovery

methods mean to the future of energy supply of for our great country.

 

In conclusion, I look forward to hopefully gaining admission to your program so

I can learn to evaluate potential oil and gas reservoirs, oversee drilling

activities, and select and implement recovery schemes so I can make a lasting

impact and contribution as a Petroleum/Chemical Engineer in working on the

leading edge of technology; so our great country can enjoy a secure

self-sufficient energy future, with a balance between environmental impact and

affordable supply.

[TexasGuy]

I like it a lot...very personal.. im applying to UT for chemE...good luck with PetE

 

the only thing i would say is the run on sentence in the first 4 lines. I dont think this is needed. You can start with  "My career in the oilfield.."

[moonyDdl]

Hi, I need help with shortening my SOP for graduate design schools. And also please advise if any corrections are needed, need it urgently!

Need it like today!

 

Statement of Purpose

Communicating effectively through words or visuals is art in itself. At graduate school I aim to enhance my already existing skills as well as expand my knowledge and skills in the areas of design I have not had a chance to explore. I aspire to become a successful Graphic Designer, applying my knowledge and skills of design for the betterment of society. And be actively involved and contribute to commercial and social areas of society.

 

Artful communication has always fascinated me and I have strived to incorporate it in all my doings as much as possible. Throughout school I participated in all extra-curricular activities involving communication, including debates, speeches, essay competitions, painting competitions, poster making and so forth. I especially loved making pictorial representation of all poems in school. Won college level essay competition back to back for 2 years in my junior college (10+2). In high school I won third prize in Bangalore level painting competition conducted by Hindustan Aeronautics ltd. Bangalore.

 

Since science and technology, and effective communication have always intrigued me I took up Electronics and Communication engineering for my undergraduate at (college name), university. Here I hoped to take up all elective courses related to multimedia and design. Unfortunately my university has certain rules and requirements for providing any elective course hence I could not learn the subjects during my undergraduate coursework. However I did not give up on my dreams of designing and completed my undergrad in 2009 and worked at (Company name) for 1.6 years as a software developer. My experiences at college and work taught me analytical and logical ways of solving problems. I worked with my team at Company on UI/website development and UI testing and functional testing and was introduced to the principles of design like user friendly layouts, alignment and colours. To pursue my dreams of designing I then worked as a freelance designer designing banners, business cards, website designs and creative designs for clothing’s using MS paint and MS word. It was quite challenging to create using only basic software and hence the next logical step was to learn the latest technologies of design.

 

To pursue my dreams of graphic design further I have taken up a 1 year diploma in Graphic Design and Web Development studio art program at xyz Academy, University. In the graphic design semester I was introduced to the principles of design such as typography, proximity, colours, print communications etc. with emphasis on branding and identity. I carried out independent research for the semester project, creating items for 6 fictitious companies and developing a keen eye for colour, under the mentorship of my instructor Name. I created logos, packaging, magazines, posters, banners, brochures, calendars etc. using InDesign, Photoshop, illustrator and CorelDraw and loved creating logos. My experiences as an engineer helped me immensely in quickly learning the concepts and technical fields of design and the software. It so happened that organising the launch event of the organisation I volunteer for, my toefl test, semester project and preparation for semester exams where all scheduled during the month of December and I successfully managed to multitask burning the midnight oil and complete them with flying colours. I have an aptitude for programming and have the working knowledge of Asp.Net, html, JavaScript and CSS (basics) and scheduled to learn Dreamweaver, PHP, and flash in the coming semester with UI design as emphasis. Currently I am an intern at Company name Bangalore, and designing their website which is under renovation. My next assignment at Company name is to design invitation cards and take up other design works.

 

Beauty of nature is what inspires me. My faculty at Institute name and Superiors at company name are highly experienced in the field of design having influential and innovative vision. They encourage me to get inspirations from our lives by observing the minute details of day today lives; I am encouraged to think creatively, contemplate the various possibilities and create new designs. As I complete each assignment and become more experienced in the field of design my love for artful communication keeps increasing.

 

Observing hoardings, banners, bus panel ads, bus shelters, posters and more while travelling is like going through a design fair and in fact the traffic jams while coming back home provide ample opportunities to observe the outdoor media ads. The catchy lines in advertisements are simply superb, love the surf excel tagline ‘daag achhe hain’ translates to ‘stains are good’. Typography has held my interests right from childhood and I want to explore it further. The typography images on web have inspired awe for typography.

 

Attending graduate school is the next logical step in pursuing my dreams of being a successful designer. At graduate school I look forward to further developing my skills and learning new skills in the areas of design I have not had the opportunity to explore and branch out into other facets of design. (College name here) will allow me to interact and learn with people from across the globe, and provide much needed exposure which I believe is crucial for any good designer.